Blow Him Away_ How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex - Marcy Michaels [10]
If you're still feeling distracted, don't be afraid to stop your partner and tell them that you're having trouble relaxing. If you make it your problem, most partners will be happy to help you relax. A little massage or foot rub can sometimes be more than enough, and may lead to some pretty exciting sex play on its own. You may get an invitation to talk over your thoughts, which is usually just the thing to send them away.
But if you decide to tell your partner to stop, be mindful—how you phrase it is very important here. You may be saying “this sucks” but for the time being it needs to sound like “I'm distracted.” For now, take responsibility for your response. Later, frame your criticisms (“You need to . . .” “You aren't . . .”) as suggestions (“I think I might like . . .” or “I want to try . . .”) Remember: the person giving oral sex is just as vulnerable as the one receiving it.
All you can think about is what bad thing you might smell/taste like.
As hang-ups go, this one is the most needless, if only because it underestimates your partner's freedom of choice. You wouldn't blame yourself if your lover decided to use some slightly turned milk in their coffee or wanted to eat a plate of something you personally found distasteful. What your lover puts in their mouth is a conscious and considered decision. Granted, if you have herpes (or any other STD) and this is the cause of your concern, than you should definitely speak up. Otherwise, unless you're getting it on with a first timer, the likelihood is that your partner knows exactly what they're getting themselves into. And if they're going down on you, they clearly want to get into it.
In the event that this abstract “freedom of choice” talk doesn't do it for you, the other option is to simply tell your oral sex lover to “hold that thought” and go to the bathroom. If the courtesy of cleaning yourself will ease your mind, then it's well worth the interruption. Either way, if this is a concern of yours, make sure to do away with it before it does away with your good time.
All you can think about is the mound of cellulite/big pimple/strange and winding ass hair you discovered this morning after getting out of the shower.
Before a date, women and men alike will despair over one aspect or another of their physical appearance. And when clothes hit the floor, it's rare not to have a moment of exhilarating fear. Covering up our smells with deodorant, shaving off unsightly hair, clipping away our nails and repainting our faces with little brushes may make us more palatable to ourselves, but the message it conveys is that the natural body is unsavory and even gross. And how can you feel excited about showing your lover something that must be continually repressed? Something that has to be regularly washed and wiped because it is constantly getting itself gross again? And the licking is going to be happening where?
Aside from all the reasons, cultural and personal, that we may be self-conscious about our bodies, the important thing to remember is: we are all self-conscious about our bodies. Bottom line: the intense self-consciousness that comes with the first few sex events renders most people as blind as a bat. So you might as well enjoy yourself, and try focusing your energy on your partner and your pleasure.
When it's worth its sweat, sex temporarily lobotomizes our capacity for abstract, analytical, or critical thinking. And yet most people fear being criticized, analyzed, and examined precisely during these sensual and engrossing experiences. Sometimes I think my partners wouldn't be able to tell me how many fingers I'm holding up during sex (though the experiment has never seemed worth the interruption).
You're Afraid of What They Might Do
Remember that your partner has only one goal in mind: to give you pleasure. So let them succeed by really relaxing and enjoying yourself. If your partner is worth their salt, they will be trying to figure out your comfort zones by tentatively exploring areas and then waiting for cues from you to continue or not. Enjoy the