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These exercises all help to make the lips supple and soft, while maximizing their tone and energy so that they never tire of giving your partner pleasure. The energy you put into your lips here will show up in tenfold when it's time to give some luscious licks and kisses.

Tongue-Tied

Let's refine your control and fine manipulation of the tongue. For french kissing, an excellent exercise is to look in the mirror and to bring your tongue fully to a point. Would you want to kiss your tongue? It should be a healthy pink. If your tongue looks whitish, or even yellowish, make sure to use a tongue scraper after each brushing.

Stick out your tongue and bring it to a point without touching the teeth or lips. Hold it in this position and make a mental note of its size and shape. Now relax and widen the tongue as much as possible, still without touching the teeth or lips. The first time you perform this exercise in the mirror, you may be surprised by just how versatile your tongue really is—it can stretch from a point less than half an inch long to four times that size without touching the teeth or lips. The concept of your tongue as a free agent, moving independently of your teeth and lips, is particularly important for oral love—even crucial. While kissing, allow the tongue to move independently, but avoid making it sharp or pointed (at least until kissing has become extremely passionate and aggressive). Remember that a soft, wide tongue is much more inviting than a darting poker, and that each minute change of your tongue shape will be felt intimately by your partner.

ORAL ETIQUETTE

Straight men need to be emasculated. I'm sorry. They all need to be slapped around. Women have been kept down for too long. Every straight guy should have a man's tongue in his mouth at least once.

—MADONNA

Allow me to say it for you: What? How could someone as sexually open and liberated (at least ostensibly) as the superstar Madonna have such bitter, resentful feelings about men and kissing? But more important: why should there be any relationship between kissing and being “kept down”? The statement is clearly emotional, relating the way having a man's tongue in her mouth made Madonna feel. It seems highly likely that somewhere along the line a tongue went too far and too fast, and what should have been a pleasurable experience became distasteful, unpleasant, and perhaps even disrespectful.

Though Madonna's feelings as expressed here are extreme, I would venture to say that the feeling of a tongue playing tonsil hockey in your throat is not an altogether uncommon experience. Madonna may see it as a patriarchal show of dominance, but the likelihood is that her kissing partner(s) was just unskilled and too nervous (after all, he was kissing Madonna) to control the speed, force, and extension of his tongue. Furthermore, this plunging kissing style is not limited to the male sex.

This style of kissing is the tragic downfall of the overzealous kisser. Inadvertently making someone suck on your tongue is definitely one way to put the flame of passion right out. It does not necessarily increase your partner's passion to push your tongue farther into their mouth. You need to follow your partner's indications to figure out when this is appropriate and desired—and when it isn't. A good rule of thumb is to feel how much of their tongue they are putting in your mouth, gently add one-fourth of an inch to that, and there's your limit. As long as you are following these signals, your kissing will be pleasurable and a delight to remember, increasing your sexual appeal and the intimacy between you. Otherwise, you may come home to a cone-shaped bra.

Also, at this level of kissing it is very important to be mindful of your breath. If you have eaten smelly food that day, it will be difficult to hide now. Remember that garlic, onions, coffee, cigarettes, and other bad-smelling consumables might make this type of kissing unpleasant for your partner. Making