Blow Him Away_ How to Give Him Mind-Blowing Oral Sex - Marcy Michaels [6]
The fact is, if you expect great sex to come naturally, you're in big trouble, and your partner is in even bigger trouble. Giving great oral sex is dependent upon being truly comfortable with the act, in good times and in bad. Real sex with live people is tricky—it smells, it squeaks, it gets stuck on some things and rams too quickly into others. People get injured physically (especially in the shower) and emotionally (especially in affairs), and on the whole, doing it probably causes about as many problems as pleasures. This doesn't mean that you should stop—in fact, most of us should be having more sex rather than less. * But it does indicate that we have a lot of false expectations surrounding sex, and these expectations take a lot of the fun out of sex without us even knowing it.
ACCEPTING THESE REALITIES WILL
MAKE YOU A BETTER LOVER
Sexual Skill Doesn't Come Naturally
Sure, the impulse to have sex is natural, and the heat of passion is sure to lend a little on-the-spot inspiration, but sexual skill must be learned and practiced like anything else.
Tell Him to Wash Behind His Balls
Genitals have a naturally pungent odor and taste. Some people love it, others don't. But you're in denial if you're surprised by it. If this is a concern for you, just take a bath or shower with your partner, instead of trying to skirt oral sex, or pretending to be comfortable going down when you're not. If you forge ahead anyway, your partner will sense your repressed discomfort, and the effort to conceal your true feelings will take the zest out of your performance.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orgasm
Whether it's that funny slurping noise, a penis that veers to the right like it's catching a curveball, or a pubic hair in your eye, unexpected things are bound to happen during sex. Who can say what it will be? One woman I know started laughing while her guy was coming in her mouth, and it ended up dribbling out of her nose. Things like this are a natural part of an active sex life, so you might as well expect them and make sure to bring your sense of humor with you to the bedroom. Taking sex too seriously is a sure passion-killer.
Genitals Look Funny
Believe it or not, the overall quality of oral sex is still being compromised by people's shame and fear of genitalia. The people giving oral sex are afraid to stare too much, because they don't want to make their partner feel uncomfortable, while their partner can barely even relax and enjoy themselves because they're so freaked out by someone sniffing around down there. Shocking as it is, this is occurring in the twenty-first century, and it's compromising the quality of oral sex. To overcome any vestiges of genital-fear, take a moment with your partner to really look at his genitals. Tell him why you want to do it, and make sure he feels comfortable with it first. Then look—really look—at all the different parts, and acknowledge that these are what you have to work with. An anatomically complete understanding of your partner's genitals will assure your subconscious that there is nothing “bad” or “dirty” or “scary” lurking in there anywhere.
“That was great. Really, it was . . .”
Most likely, no one's told you the truth about your sexual skills. It's a rare lover who openly communicates what they do or don't like, because they're trying to be nice. But withholding feedback is extremely counterproductive with regards to sex. The way people communicate about sex isn't even worthy of the term “miscommunication,” because not only does withholding feedback send the wrong information (that you like something you don't, or dislike something you do), it actively obstructs future communication about sex. We're lucky consultants can't be called into the bedroom, because most people would be fired. The result? Very few men and women have been given enough feedback to develop