Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [25]
Many women in the survey mentioned mentoring as a way to learn about networking. Here is just one example:
It’s nice to mentor and network with other people. Women and men have unique business strengths and I would not know my business as well as I do were I not mentored by both.
According to the survey, women learn networking with more structured methodologies than men do. The differences weren’t huge but certainly statistically significant. What is most interesting is that the aids or tools women used greatly varied, but they all dominated the alternative (working alone). In other words, it seems the biggest thing women had in common is that they didn’t work alone, and the methods they chose instead spanned the range of the many tools available to them.
Women are more likely to learn by reading books or articles, taking seminars or classes, being mentored, or participating in networking groups. Conversely, the only learning method that men used more than women was—wait for it... wait for it... “working on their own.” What a surprise!
FIGURE 2.4—How Men and Women Develop Networking Skills
One woman from the survey said:
A lot of people tell me the best networker they know is their own mother. I’d agree with that. My own mother is a brilliant networker. I have never met anyone who has told me their father is the best networker they know. Why is this?
Well, ma’am, I’m afraid the answer to your question may be that women appear to do more homework than men! Based on this comprehensive survey, it seems that men just wing it a lot more than women do.
In sum, although both men and women substantially feel that networking played a role in their success, it seemed to be a slightly bigger factor for women than for men. There was a fair amount of agreement between the two on networking learning methods, but women were much more inclined to take advantage of structured learning opportunities than men, as opposed to learning on their own.
He Says...
Women read more, take more seminars, more often use the tutelage of mentors, and participate in networking groups more than men. Men, I hope you are embarrassed by this! This is sad. Why was the only area we excelled in that of working on our own? I think I am actually embarrassed to be a man at this moment. Part of the reason is not just because we do less than women to better ourselves, but also that we are willing to admit to it publicly, with no shame, and even a smidge of ignorant pride, no less. (Guys, you could have at least lied in the survey!)
This reminds me of people who actually brag about getting by only using 10 percent of their brains, when untapped human capacity is an estimated 90 percent. You’ve never heard a woman say that, have you? Nope. Just men. Being stupid is one thing. Admitting to it without shame or intent to improve is another. Bragging about it is just plain stupid!
She Comments . . .
Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. I always knew you’d figure it out. Eventually. I’ll be here waiting with fresh, hot coffee when you wake up.
He Responds . . .
Thanks, Hazel!
Guys, are we really so stubborn that we are not willing to commit our time, money, and energy into ongoing learning? Why? Why do we feel we don’t need these tools? This makes no sense. Think about all the other tools through history we’ve recognized a need for, developed, and used to our gain.
Back to my old caveman analogies. I’m reminded of the popular belief that early humans invented the wheel by sliding down a hill on gravel. When they noticed how much more quickly they traveled on wheels (even if they fell on their faces the first few times), an idea was born. That less evolved brain was able to see an advantage and make use of it. Almost more important, now that the wheel (car) has been invented and is being used en masse,