Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [44]
Bill is thinking, Warranty? They want a warranty? I’ll give them a warranty. I’ll take their warranty and . . .
“Bill.” Candace says aloud.
“What?” answers Bill, startled.
“Please don’t torture yourself like this.” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears, “Maybe I should never have . . . Oh, I feel so . . .”
She breaks down, sobbing.
“What?” Bill asks, wondering what just happened.
“I’m such a fool.” Candace sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”
“There’s no horse?” says Bill and wonders, What horse?
“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Candace asks in a self-blaming tone.
“No!” says Bill, thinking, Why should I?
“It’s just that . . . it’s that I ... I need some time,” Candace says.
Dead silence again. Bill is trying to find what the right answer is here. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.
“Yes,” he says.
Candace feels so touched that she puts her hand on his.
“Oh, Bill, do you really feel that way?” she says.
“What way?” says Bill, thinking, What are we talking about?
“That way about time?” asks Candace.
“Oh,” says Bill. “Yes. Of course.”
Candace turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.
“Thank you, Bill,” she says, lovingly.
“Thank you,” says Bill, thinking, Whew. Got that one right.
Then he drops her off at her house where she lies and weeps on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, whereas Bill back at his place opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he’s never heard of.
A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he’s pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.
Candace gets home and calls her closest friend and they talk about this situation for two hours. They analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it many times, considering every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, and any possible ramifications. They’ll continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe even months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Bill, while playing basketball one day with a mutual friend of his and Candace’s, stops before shooting a basket and says, ‘Steve, did Candace ever own a horse?”
Taking Responsibility for How We Present Ourselves
You may remember the man in Chapter 1 who was very impressed with himself for cockily squeezing a woman’s behind at a networking meeting, trying to impress his friends. Men need to take responsibility for how they act. In what universe would this be appropriate? Ladies, on behalf of men everywhere, I apologize for that guy. Here’s a quote from one of our male study participants that also shows some irresponsible preoccupations guys have that get in the way of progress for everyone:
When I network with a woman I always wonder what their marital status is first and foremost. I’ve no idea why, as I’m happily married myself and have nothing to gain from this curiosity. This can be distracting. It would be much easier if, when introducing themselves, they told me their marital status as well, then we could get down to business.
Let me get this right. You’re married and distracted by not knowing if the female you’ve met is married or not? Really? This is not only strange, but also creepy. Ladies, here I go again, having to apologize for my team.
These examples are really embarrassing, and those few clueless men ruin it for the rest of us. To them I say that if you want the kind of