Business Networking and Sex - Ivan Misner [45]
Some of us men just don’t understand that when we’re networking, we’re always being observed and judged. Even by our buddies. Here is my question to you: How many close friendships that you have developed through networking do you actually get business from? For many of us the answer is: very little. Have you ever wondered why? One of the reasons could be that although your buddies have a great time with you, they are not confident enough in you to refer you. You may be fun to have a beer with, but referring you to their best client or family member or close friend is not going to happen.
I want you to have the mindset that each time you attend a networking function, of any kind, that you’re auditioning. Business people are always looking for a reason to say “no.” The most recent impression you give people during an audition is the way they think of you right now. Did you know that casting directors who audition people for movies and TV shows repeatedly request to audition many of the same actors? This repetition and visibility helps them remember the actor’s persona. How you audition builds your credibility and reputation for certain types of roles for which people are “casting.” When a role comes up that a prospective job hunter thinks you’d be good for, they’ll make sure you attend the casting call to audition you again, even though they’ve seen you before. They need to see you audition for this role in your current status to make a decision about whether to recommend you.
The opposite is also true. When certain roles come up for which they don’t think you’d be good, based on past auditions, they won’t invite you. If you end up auditioning for them, they’ve usually already made their decision based on your performance at past auditions, so it’s probably just a waste of time. Don’t blow your opportunity to be invited to future auditions.
Gentlemen, if you want to network well and build relationships with women, you need to make sure, every time you see them, you treat it like your first audition. Make each impression count. It could be worth a lot of money.
She Says. . .
When the concept of this book came about, I told my co-authors that I believe the biggest difference between men and women during networking is the way that they use the VCP Process®. (Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability. Remember?) In my experience it seems that men move from the visibility phase of the relationship and go straight to the profitability phase, spending a very short period of time building the relationship in the credibility phase. Men tend to dive into the business part rather quickly.
On the other hand, women will move from the visibility phase of the relationship on to the credibility phase without ever evolving to the profitability phase, where referrals and business take place. I made this statement to Ivan and Frank based on my experience teaching and coaching people to build profitable networks. Both of them were of course a little hesitant to embrace the concept but very anxious to see if our data would prove it. It did, and we also received many comments in the same vein from our survey-takers:
When I meet with women to network and discuss business I find we spend about 90 percent of the time getting to know each other, discussing family, who we are, our backgrounds, etc., then we spend the remaining 10 percent of the time talking about business. When I meet with men we spend 10 percent of our time getting to know each other and 90 percent of our time talking about business. Both approaches are effective, but I enjoy networking with women more.
I find that most women who network are definitely more interested in developing a relationship first and then business later. Most men get right into the part of the conversation where they ask what