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By Root 909 0

there were twins on the way. Home was already a too-small house, with two screaming kids under the age of three, and a wife who was also so tired and busy she hardly had time for herself, much less for him. Between work and home he couldn’t remember when he had had more than thirty minutes of uninterrupted sleep, much less a good meal. He ate on the run, drank coffee and Mountain Dew, and ate energy bars to keep himself going. Was it any wonder he’d made a mistake? Maybe if he hadn’t been so tired he might have paid more attention, not been quite so quick to give up. But doctors are not allowed to make bad judgment calls, make mistakes. He had hoped it had not been his mistake.

He sat waiting after the incident while they had brought in technicians to check and recheck the machines, but when the two men came out and reported that they were in perfect working order, he felt his life and career going down the tube. Why had it happened? Granted, he was exhausted, but he had been tired before. Could it have been the fact that the patient was so old? Could he have somehow unconsciously, for the slightest second, thought that her death was not as important as a younger patient’s? There was always a somewhat higher sense of urgency if the patient was young, a little more of an effort. But why? Who was he to judge how important a life was, and yet he may have done that and almost killed a patient because of it. Just the slightest turn of events, the fact that he had agreed to wait a few hours for the Warrens’ daughter to arrive, had saved her life. If they hadn’t waited, Mrs. Shimfissle might have wound up shoved into a drawer down in the morgue, or worse yet, somebody could have started an autopsy. Even if he didn’t lose his job, he could never forgive himself. As far as he was concerned his career was over, no matter what the machines said. He should have tried harder, worked on her longer, not given up so soon. All the years of sacrifice, all the years of study, working, all for nothing.

After he had changed from his scrubs and before he left for the night, Dr. Henson walked down to Elner’s room.

“Hey, Mrs. Shimfissle. How are you doing?”

“Just fine, thank you, and how are you?”

It was clear she did not know who he was, and he explained, “Mrs. Shimfissle, I’m the doctor who was in charge of ER when you came in this morning.”

“Oh, I didn’t recognize you without your shower hat.”

“May I sit down?”

“Sure.”

He struggled to find the right words. “Mrs. Shimfissle, I just think you should know that I’m the one who pronounced you dead, and I want you to know that I am so sorry.”

“Well, don’t be sorry on my account,” Elner said. “It scared my niece and them a little, but I’m certainly none the worse for wear.”

“No, you don’t understand, it was my fault. You could have died because of me.”

She looked at him. “But I didn’t. Look, I’m fit as a fiddle and guess what, I don’t need my hearing aid anymore. When I woke up, I could hear as plain as day. What do you think about that?”

“That’s great, but I wanted you to know that I’m thinking about leaving medicine.”

“Why?”

“Because…I almost killed you,” he said, fighting back the tears.

“Oh now, listen here, you didn’t have a thing to do with it. Besides, everything that happens, happens for a reason. So don’t you be talking about leaving medicine, that’s just silly.”

“I may be forced to, Mrs. Shimfissle, your niece is probably going to sue me and the hospital, and at this point I wouldn’t blame her.”

Elner looked at him, surprised. “Norma? Why, Norma Warren is the sweetest girl in the world, she’s not going to sue anybody, for heaven’s sake, you just get that out of your mind right now.”

After the doctor left, the nurse came into Elner’s room to give her a pill. “You get some good sleep now, Mrs. Shimfissle,” she said. “I’ll be right outside if you need anything…just push your call button.”

“All right. Hey, where is my call button, anyway? In case I do want to call somebody.”

“It’s right here on the side of your bed, just push this little white button and your room number