Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [74]
“Oh, of course.”
When they walked outside the door, he said, “Mrs. Warren, I just wanted to let you know, all her tests show that there was no brain damage, or long-term or short-term memory loss.”
“Oh, well, that is a relief,” said Norma. “She was out for a long time, and I was worried it might have done something.”
“No, she’s perfectly fine. Her conversation is slightly disjointed, but that is entirely consistent with someone her age, so I wouldn’t be concerned about that.”
Norma said, “Oh, I’m not, Doctor, her conversation was always slightly disjointed, long before this.”
When they went back inside, Dr. Lang walked over to Elner. “I have to take off now, but I wanted to say good-bye before I left.”
“I’m so glad you did. I wanted you to meet Linda.”
The doctor then looked at Linda. “So your aunt tells me you live in St. Louis, is that right?”
“Yes,” she said.
“I see.” Then he turned back to Elner. “Well, good luck, Mrs. Shimfissle. Don’t be falling out of any more trees, OK?”
Elner laughed. “No, I won’t. I have a feeling my fig picking days are over.”
After the Warrens visited for a while, they concluded that Elner was doing well enough for Linda to go back home, and Macky and Linda left for the airport.
The second they walked out the door, Elner suddenly became very excited and said to Norma, “Lock the door, Norma. Hurry before the nurse comes back, I’ve just been wanting to get you alone, I’ve got something to tell you. Hurry up.”
Norma walked over and locked the door and then came closer to the bed. “What is it?”
Elner said, “I know you’re mad at me for falling off the ladder, but when you hear what I have to tell you, you’ll be so glad I did, you’ll thank me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know the old saying ‘I felt like I just died and went to heaven’?”
“Yes?”
“Well…I really did!”
“Did what?”
“Died and went to heaven! I wanted you to be the first to know. Aren’t you happy? And oh, Norma,” Elner said, with her eyes shining, “I just wish you could have been with me to see how wonderful it all is! I know how you worry about your health and dying, but now you won’t have to be scared ever again, because people don’t ever stop, we just go on and on forever…. Isn’t that just the best news?”
Norma said, “Well, yes, honey, we all hope that’s true, but—”
Elner interrupted her. “Oh, it is! And you’ll never guess in a million years who I saw.”
“Who?”
“Your mother!”
“My mother?”
“And guess what else? She knows Tot did her hair.”
Now Norma was alarmed. “What?”
“Yes, but don’t worry about it, I smoothed it over, and after that I had a nice visit with Neighbor Dorothy and Raymond. You remember Neighbor Dorothy?”
Norma, who at this point was totally confused by the conversation, said, “Of course I remember Neighbor Dorothy…but I don’t understand what you are talking about…. Who’s Raymond?”
“Dorothy’s husband.”
When Elner said that, Norma realized what was going on and said, “Oh, Aunt Elner, you must have been having some sort of dream, honey. Don’t you remember, Neighbor Dorothy’s husband was named Robert.”
Elner said, “Well, I can’t help that he looks like her first husband, but she’s married to Raymond now, and it was no dream, Norma. Dorothy was as alive as you and I are right now. And I saw Ginger Rogers and Princess Mary Margaret, Dorothy’s old cocker spaniel. There are dogs and cats up there too. Isn’t that good news? And, oh, I had a nice visit with Ernest Koonitz, and Thomas Edison stopped in to say hello.”
Norma sank down in the chair. “Oh dear God,” thought Norma as an excited Elner continued, telling her in great detail everything that had happened from the moment she got onto the elevator until she floated up off the porch and over to the hospital and woke up back in her room. When Elner finished, she looked at Norma with a big smile and exclaimed, “So, what do you think about that? I was dead down here, but still going up there!”
Norma sat there in a daze, not really sure what