Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [75]
“How should I know, honey? I’m not a medical expert, I’m just a person, all I know is what I saw, and who I talked to, and imagine, Tom Edison came to see me! He is the nicest man, so humble.”
“Oh my God,” Norma thought again. The doctor had been totally wrong. Aunt Elner’s brain had been damaged. The poor thing really believed she had been to heaven and talked to dead people. Norma knew this was a serious situation with untold consequences and that she would have to tread lightly, so she reached over and took Elner’s hand and asked sweetly, “Aunt Elner, have you told anybody else about your…visit?”
“No, not yet, I wanted you to be the first to know.”
Norma forced a small smile. “And I’m so glad, but, sweetheart, I really think it would be best if you didn’t mention this to anyone else, OK?”
Elner was taken aback. “Why?”
“Well, just promise me that this will be our little secret. All right? Will you do that for me?”
“But why? Shouldn’t everybody know? I have a few messages I was supposed to deliver.”
“Aunt Elner…Please, if you love me, just promise me that you won’t tell anybody about seeing polka-dotted squirrels or Thomas Edison or any of the rest, OK?”
“But why? I don’t understand.”
Norma was firm. “Just trust me, Aunt Elner, I have my reasons.”
Elner was disappointed. “All right, Norma, I promise but—”
At that moment the nurse knocked loudly on the door. “Mrs. Warren, you have a phone call at the desk.”
Norma, still somewhat addled, went outside and picked up the phone. It was Louise Franks.
“How is Elner? Is she all right?”
Norma said, “Oh, Louise, she’s doing just fine. They did a lot of tests and everything looks good, no broken bones, just a few bruises and wasp stings, but other than that she’s OK.”
A much relieved Louise said, “Well, thank the Lord. I’ve been worried to death.”
“Well, don’t worry, everything else seems to be fine,” she lied again. “I’ll tell her you called, Louise.”
“Oh, please do, and tell her Polly and I are sending her all our love.”
“I will.”
“Do you think she’ll be home for Easter?”
“I’m not sure, but I’ll let you know.”
Norma hung up, and thought, “Aunt Elner might be home for Easter, if she keeps her mouth shut and they don’t cart her off to the loony bin first.”
As Norma turned around she saw a familiar face smiling at her.
“Mrs. Warren?” he said. “I wonder if I might have a word with you.”
She did not want to talk to him, but even under stress Norma was polite. She knew who he was. She had seen his ad on television enough times. Gus Shimmer, the largest lawyer in town, as he liked to call himself. Macky said he was one of those ambulance chasers, but as much as she wanted to get back in the room with Aunt Elner, she sat down with him and let him run through his entire speech, while she kept an eye on the door to Elner’s room.
After he finished she said, “I appreciate your concern, Mr. Shimmer, but we’re just grateful she is alive, thank you for coming.”
Shimmer, not to be put off, said, “Mrs. Warren, I don’t think you quite realize what mental and emotional stress this mishap—or as I prefer to call it, this gross case of negligence and malpractice—has placed on you and your family.”
“Listen, believe me, I do know, better than anybody…. It’s going to take a week to write all those thank-you cards for the flowers alone, but really, I don’t want to sue anybody. All I know is, that poor doctor certainly didn’t do anything on purpose.”
“Mrs. Warren,” he said, “in a situation like this, purpose is neither here nor there, the fact is that it did happen and in their hospital. To pronounce a patient dead when she is still alive is certainly more than grounds for a lawsuit—a major lawsuit. And if you let me handle this, I can guarantee you that by the time we get through, you might very well own this entire hospital.”
Norma looked at him, puzzled. “Why would I want to own a hospital?” she asked while still watching the door.