Cannot Wait to Get to Heaven - Fannie Flagg [85]
When she came back in, Norma sat and stared at Elner like she was a bug, trying to observe her actions to see if she could tell if she seemed to be in her right mind, but with so many people in and out of her room, it was hard to tell. But so far she seemed normal, if you could call Aunt Elner’s regular behavior normal.
The Visitors
11:30 AM
Around late morning a group of the ladies from Elmwood Springs met downtown in front of the newspaper office, then they all piled into Cathy Calvert’s station wagon and headed over to the hospital to see Elner. They were all in a good mood, happy to be going to the hospital instead of the funeral parlor, where they all might have been that day.
Irene said, “Can you believe it? Here she is alive and kicking, and I had already made three green bean casseroles and three Bundt cakes.”
Tot, who sat in the backseat by the window because she was the only one who smoked, said, “I was too stoned out on my pills to cook.”
Neva added, “Well, I practiced her gospel songs.”
Ruby Robinson said, “I cleaned out her refrigerator and almost took that nasty old cat home.”
“Merle and I sent her a plant, and he went over and killed her snails. I just hope she doesn’t find out, you know how she is about her snails,” said Verbena.
Cathy Calvert said, “Well, girls, I think I have you all beat, I already wrote her obituary!” And they laughed all the way to Kansas City.
When the ladies walked into Elner’s room, they all declared how well she looked, considering. Then Tot looked over and said to a pale Norma, “But you look terrible, you look just plum wore out.”
“Well, I am a little tired, I got up pretty early,” said Norma.
Then Tot turned to Elner. “You have just put us through the ringer, girl, we all thought you were a goner.”
“So did I,” laughed Elner.
“When are you coming home?” asked Irene.
“I don’t know yet, I’m still being observed.”
“For what?” said Tot.
“I don’t know that, either…to see if I’m still in my right mind, I guess.”
Verbena stood staring at her. “How do you feel now? Do you have a headache? Wasp stings give me a headache.”
“No, no headache, but I feel like a big old pincushion. They’ve stuck me with so many needles and looked at me from every which way, inside and out, from top to bottom. I think I had every test they could think of, and some twice. You can’t accuse them of not being thorough.”
Tot plopped down on a chair beside the bed. “Let’s cut to the chase. What I’m dying to know is, how did it feel to be dead? Did you go through a white tunnel or see anybody interesting?”
Norma held her breath, but Elner, a woman of her word, answered, “No, I didn’t go through any white tunnel.”
“Well, shoot,” said Tot, “I was hoping you’d have a lot to report, some words of wisdom.”
“Yes,” added Neva. “Did you have any insights, or revelations or anything?”
“Yeah,” said Verbena. “I heard people that died and came back could cure things, I was hoping you could help me with my arthritis.”
Elner, looking at Norma, said, “All I can tell you is that you better live each day like it was your last, because you never know. Take a lesson from me, one minute I’m picking figs, the next minute I’m dead.”
While the rest of the ladies were still visiting with Elner, Ruby Robinson went down the hall looking for her friend Boots, to have a chat and see if she could find out anything more about what had happened.
Ruby asked where she was and found Boots down in the nurses’ room taking her break. Boots was very happy to see her, and confided, “I’ve been given orders not to discuss it, but I’ll tell you this much.” She looked around to see if anyone was listening. “They’ve checked and rechecked everything and they still don’t have a clue what went wrong. My friend Gwen was in ER at the time and she swears Elner was dead.”
“It’s odd, isn’t it?” said Ruby.
“In all my years of nursing, I’ve never