Choosing to SEE - Mary Beth Chapman [96]
This little guy’s diagnosis is not positive and thus he is in palliative care, which is like hospice. My heart is so heavy for him. I spent time making him coo and giggle before rocking him to sleep this morning, and now . . . I find myself thinking of him constantly and praying that God would do a miracle in this little boy.
If not, it’s good to know that his care will be compassionate. I told this little guy all about Maria, and I’m quite convinced that when it’s time for his life here on earth to be over, he’ll be greeted by one sweet little angel – who also knew what it felt like for me to hold her and rock her to sleep.
August 10, 2009
Please continue to pray for us . . . we have so much to process. China was so incredible, and I long to be there more and more. But the girls start school on Monday, which will always be sad with one missing. Emily and Tanner leave for Ireland on September 8. Caleb (with Julia cheering him on) is in meetings about upcoming music opportunities with Will.
So many changes and we have a lot of decisions to make for the rest of 2009 and 2010. Pray that God will lead clearly!
August 22, 2009
This post finds me very saddened, yet grateful over the loss of the precious little guy I told you about from Maria’s Big House of Hope just about a month ago.
I was given the privilege of giving him his English name. Hudson, after James Hudson Taylor, an amazing missionary to China!
This little guy’s eyes locked onto mine immediately, and I knew I was in trouble. I spent a lot of the rest of my time rocking and singing and snuggling little Hudson. He was born on a 21st, which is the date of Maria’s passing, and it happened to be the 21st of July when he arrived at MBHOH.
I was gentle with him as he was fragile and struggling to breathe. Every day I carefully carried him down to the Cars room and showed him the murals of Lightning McQueen and Mater. I told Hudson about Maria and what she was like and where she lives now.
One day, while Emily was rocking Hudson, I was leaning over top of him talking silly like mamas do. I was trying to get a first-ever smile out of him.
I wouldn’t have believed what happened next if I didn’t have Emily as a witness. I was saying in a very silly voice that I was going to pray hard that God would heal him. I told Hudson that I longed to have him healed this side of heaven, but if God chose to take him home early, an amazing little girl named Maria would be waiting for him when he got to heaven!
At the exact moment I said “Maria,” Hudson let out his first-ever giggle and smile.
It gave me goose bumps, and I froze. I said, “Emily, please tell me that you saw that!”
She saw it too.
When I left China and came home, I continued to pray for Hudson and all the little ones at MBHOH. I knew that everything was being done that could be done, and I was so grateful that he had found his way to MBHOH. I bought a soft blanket and had his name embroidered on it so that Hudson would have his own snuggly blanket from me. In some way, I hoped that he would sense it was from someone who was really fighting for him on this side of the world.
I received word a couple of days ago that Hudson had taken a turn for the worse. I was really struck again at how short life can be, such a wisp of time and we will be in heaven . . .
Tonight I got a call from my sweet, sweet husband . . . Steven had received the call that little Hudson had passed on, so now he is healed, and he is running in heaven with his new heart with absolutely no problems breathing!
I just know my Maria was waiting for him . . . I am sad, I am heartbroken, but I’m not without hope.
Without hope, Hudson may never have heard the words, “Jesus loves you, this I know,” sung to him over and over again. God, who gave us Jesus, knew in His infinite wisdom that for such a time as this, God’s people would move and Maria’s Big House would be built.
I am so grateful tonight, as I lie here with my two girls, for