Discardia_ More Life, Less Stuff - Dinah Sanders [40]
Decide it will not come out well enough to be worth it, cut your losses and call it off.
As time goes on you'll get better at estimating the work required, calculating the time things take, and judging before commitment whether something will be rewarding. If you let yourself intelligently make some mistakes by taking some risks, you can learn from them. Doing is how we grow. Take a fun, adventurous step outside your boring, old comfort zone.
Discarding the fears that downgrade your life
With our health, we can set ourselves up for unnecessary future hardships by neglecting preventative care now. Long overdue dealing with a health-related task? Enough! Pick up the phone, write the letter, or whatever. Quit delaying. Information makes you healthier than avoidance. Afraid of dentists? Here's the trick: Don't treat your mouth like crap and find a good dentist.
If you brush twice a day and floss daily, you will you have a nice, kissable mouth and have dramatically reduced the risk of gum disease, cavities, and other ailments that make the dentist have to do painful things to you.
Some dentists and hygienists know how to make the process much less uncomfortable. They do this through a mix of strong interpersonal skills, the latest equipment, good physical techniques, and genuine care for their patients. If your dentist doesn't seem to be on your side, find one who is. Ask friends for recommendations. When you're talking to a prospective new dentist's office, ask about how they reduce the pain of common procedures, such as cleanings. You deserve to have the best care from those you hire and from yourself.
Here’s another worry on which you can quit wasting time: Lexicographer Erin McKean of A Dress A Day urges women to stop worrying about being visually pleasing to everyone: “You don't owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your coworkers, especially not to random men on the street. You don't owe it to your mother, you don't owe it to your children, you don't owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’.”
Likewise, men should rebel against that social pressure not to be “too” gentle or soft. Guys: It is not required that you have any interest in sports. Be yourself.
Risking to reap the big rewards
Relationships are great opportunities, but sometimes it's very scary to consider revealing your feelings and fears. You know, those parts of yourself of which you aren't so proud and those things that you have identified as the potential weak spots for keeping it all tickety-boo with this sweetheart?
This is that “terror territory” where life can get harder, things could turn out to be deal-breakers, and all kinds of uncomfortableness could arise. It’s so easy and tempting to stay in the safe zone. At some point, in order to get things better and stronger and more rewarding with a partner, you must venture out of what feels pleasant and predictable. Have some deeper conversations. Share some fears. Expose some vulnerabilities. Talk about what you want, what you really really want. There are levels of intimacy you can't fall up into; you have to climb.
It's worth it.
Relationships aren’t the only place where our fears interfere with our happiness. At work, we can hold ourselves back by undervaluing our own talents and not speaking up for what we truly want to be doing in our careers. We may underpromote ourselves and miss opportunities for advancement and growth. We may chase advancement too far trying to meet others’ definition of success and neglecting our own sense of the daily work we really like best. In either case, figure out where you want to be heading and start asking for that. Don’t wait for others to build your future for you.
Laugh away your little fears and whittle away your big ones. Be bold!
Symptom #15: Anger, Resentment, Intolerance
Solution #15: Ain’t No Thang
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
—Martin Luther