Focus - Leo Babauta [21]
Start to eliminate the unnecessary. When you do the important things with focus, without rush, there will be things that get pushed back, that don't get done. And you need to ask yourself: how necessary are these things? What would happen if I stopped doing them? How can I eliminate them, delegate them, automate them?
Practice mindfulness. Simply learn to live in the present, rather than thinking so much about the future or the past. When you eat, fully appreciate your food. When you're with someone, be with them fully. When you're walking, appreciate your surroundings, no matter where you are.
Slowly eliminate commitments. We're overcommitted, which is why we're rushing around so much. I don't just mean with work -- projects and meetings and the like. Parents have tons of things to do with and for their kids, and we overcommit our kids as well. Many of us have busy social lives, or civic commitments, or are coaching or playing on sports teams. We have classes and groups and hobbies. But in trying to cram so much into our lives, we're actually deteriorating the quality of those lives. Slowly eliminate commitments -- pick 4-5 essential ones, and realize that the rest, while nice or important, just don't fit right now. Politely inform people, over time, that you don't have time to stick to those commitments.
Try these things out. Life is better when unrushed. And given the fleeting nature of this life, why waste even a moment by rushing through it?
3: going with the flow
"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."
– Lao-Tzu
No matter how much structure we create in our lives, no matter how many good habits we build, there will always be things that we cannot control -- and if we let them, these things can be a huge source of anger, frustration and stress.
The simple solution: learn to go with the flow.
For example, let's say you've created the perfect peaceful morning routine. You've structured your mornings so that you do things that bring you calm and happiness. And then a water pipe bursts in your bathroom and you spend a stressful morning trying to clean up the mess and get the pipe fixed.
You get angry. You are disappointed, because you didn't get to do your morning routine. You are stressed from all these changes to what you're used to. It ruins your day because you are frustrated for the rest of the day.
Not the best way to handle things, is it? And yet if we are honest, most of us have problems like this, with things that disrupt how we like things, with people who change what we are used to, with life when it doesn't go the way we want it to go.
Go with the flow.
What is going with the flow? It's rolling with the punches. It's accepting change without getting angry or frustrated. It's taking what life gives you, rather than trying to mold life to be exactly as you want it to be.
And what does this have to do with focusing? It's a reality that no matter how much we try to control our environment, so that we may focus on what's important, there will be interruptions and distractions. Our environment will constantly change, and we cannot completely control it.
And so, we must learn to accept this reality, and find focus within a changing environment. Here's how.
Realize that you can't control everything. I think we all know this at some level, but the way we think and act and feel many times contradicts this basic truth. We don't control the universe, and yet we seem to wish we could. All the wishful thinking won't make it so. You can't even control everything within your own little sphere of influence -- you can influence things, but many things are simply out of your control. In the example above, you can control your morning routine, but there will be things that happen from