Glasshouse - Charles Stross [75]
“I’ve been thinking about thinking.” Janis shakes her head. I rummage around for the coffee and filter papers and set the stand up over the biggest mug I can find. I scoop the coffee into the paper with wild abandon, stopping only when I realize that making it too strong for Fiore will be as bad as not getting him to drink it all. “You shouldn’t think too much, Reeve. It’s bad for you.”
“Is it really?” I ask abstractedly, as I peel the foil wrapping from a small tablet of chocolate I bought at the drugstore and crumble half of it into the coffee grounds as the kettle begins to hiss. I wad the foil into a tight ball and flick it into the wastebasket.
“If you think about getting out of here,” says Janis.
“Like I said, I’ll call you a taxi—”
“No, I mean out of here.” I turn round and she looks at me with the expression of a trapped animal. It’s one of those moments of existential bleakness when the cocoon of lies that we spin around ourselves to paper over the cracks in reality dissolve into slime, and we’re left looking at something really ugly. Janis has got the bug, the same one I’ve got, only she’s got it worse. “I can’t stand it anymore! They’re going to put me in hospital and make me pass a skull through my cunt, and then they’re going to have a little accident and I’ll bleed out and they’ll give me to Hanta to fix with her tame censorship worm. I’ll come out of the hospital smiling like Yvonne and Patrice, and there won’t be any me left, there’ll be this thing that thinks it’s me and—”
I grab her. “Shut up!” I hiss in her ear. “It’s not going to happen!” She sobs, a great racking howl welling up inside her, and if she lets it out. I’m completely screwed because Fiore will hear us. “I’ve got a plan.”
“You’ve—what?”
The kettle is boiling. I gently push away her groping hands and reach over to turn it off. “Listen. Go home. Right now, right this instant. Leave Fiore to me. Stop panicking. The more isolated we think we are, the more isolated we become. I won’t let them mess with your head.” I smile at her reassuringly. “Trust me.”
“You.” Janis sniffles loudly, then lets go of me and grabs a tissue off the box on the table. “You’ve got—no, don’t tell me.” She blows her nose and takes a deep breath, then looks at me again, a long, hard, appraising look. “Should have guessed. You don’t take shit, do you?”
“Not if I can help it.” I pick up the kettle and carefully pour boiling water into the funnel, where it will damp down the coffee grounds, extract the xanthine alkaloids and dissolve the half tab of Ex-Lax hidden in the powder, draining the sennoside glycosides and the highly diuretic caffeine into the mug of steaming coffee that, with any luck, will give Fiore a strong urge to take ten minutes on the can about half an hour after he drinks it. “Just try to relax. I should be able to tell you about it in a couple of days if things work out.”
“Right. You’ve got a plan.” She blows her nose again. “You want me to go home.” It’s a question.
“Yes. Right now, without letting Fiore see you here—I told him you were at home, sick.”
“Okay.” She manages a wan smile.
I pour milk into the coffee mug, then pick it up. “I’m just going to give the Reverend his coffee,” I tell her.
“To give—” Her eyes widen. “I see.” She takes her jacket from the hook on the back of the door. “I’d better get out of your way, then.” She grins at me briefly. “Good luck!”
And she’s gone, leaving me room to pick up the mug of coffee and the other item from the sink side and to carry them out to Fiore.
THE simplest plans are often the best.
Anything I try to do on the library computer system will be monitored, and the instant I try to find anything interesting they’ll know I know about it. It’s probably there as a honeypot, to snare the overly curious and insufficiently paranoid. Even if it isn’t, I probably won’t get anywhere useful—those old conversational interfaces are not only arcane, they’re feeble-minded.
To put one over on these professional paranoids