Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners [20]
10, and vii. 56, and x. 42; Heb. vii. 24 and ix. 28; Rev. i. 18; 1 Thess. iv. 17, 18.
112. Once I was troubled to know whether the Lord Jesus was man as well as God, and God as well as man: and truly, in those days, let men say what they would, unless I had it with evidence from heaven, all was nothing to me; I counted myself not set down in any truth of God. Well, I was much troubled about this point, and could not tell how to be resolved; at last, that in Rev. v. 6 came into my mind: AND I BEHELD, AND, TO, IN THE MIDST OF THE THRONE, AND OF THE FOUR BEASTS, AND IN THE MIDST OF THE ELDERS, STOOD A LAMB, AS IT HAD BEEN SLAIN. In the midst of the throne, thought I, there is the Godhead; in the midst of the elders, there is His manhood; but, oh! methought this did glister! It was a goodly touch, and gave me sweet satisfaction. That other scripture also did help me much in this, FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN, UNTO US A SON IS GIVEN; AND THE GOVERNMENT SHALL BE UPON HIS SHOULDER: AND HIS NAME SHALL BE CALLED WONDERFUL, COUNSELLOR, THE MIGHTY GOD, THE EVERLASTING FATHER, THE PRINCE OF PEACE, etc. Isa. ix. 6.
123. Also besides these teachings of God in His word, the Lord made use of two things to confirm me in this truth; the one was the errors of the Quakers and the other was the guilt of sin; for as the Quakers did oppose this truth, so God did the more confirm me in it, by leading me into the scripture that did wonderfully maintain it.
124. The errors that this people then maintained, were:-
'1. That the holy scriptures were not the word of God.
'2. That every man in the world had the spirit of Christ, grace, faith, etc.
'3. That Christ Jesus, as crucified, and dying sixteen hundred years ago, did not satisfy divine justice for the sins of the people.
'4. That Christ's flesh and blood were within the saints.
'5. That the bodies of the good and bad that are buried in the church-yard, shall not arise again.
'6. That the resurrection is past with good men already.
'7. That that man Jesus, that was crucified between two thieves, on mount CALVARY, in the land of CANAAN, by JERUSALEM, was not ascended above the starry heavens.
'8. That He should not, even the same Jesus that died by the hands of the Jews, come again at the last day; and as man, judge all nations,' etc.
125. Many more vile and abominable things were in those days fomented by them, by which I was driven to a more narrow search of the scriptures, and was through their light and testimony, not only enlightened, but greatly confirmed and comforted in the truth: And, as I said, the guilt of sin did help me much; for still as that would come upon me, the blood of Christ did take it off again, and again, and again; and that too sweetly, according to the scripture. O FRIENDS! CRY TO GOD TO REVEAL JESUS CHRIST UNTO YOU; THERE IS NONE TEACHETH LIKE HIM.
126. It would be too long here to stay, to tell you in particular, how God did set me down in all the things of Christ, and how He did, that He might so do, lead me into His words; yea, and also how He did open them unto me, and make them shine before me, and cause them to dwell with me, talk with me, and comfort me over and over, both of His own being, and the being of His Son, and Spirit, and word, and gospel.
127. Only this, as I said before, I will say unto you again, that in general, He was pleased to take this course with me; first, to suffer me to be afflicted with temptations concerning them, and then reveal them unto me; as sometimes I should lie under great guilt for sin, even crushed to the ground therewith; and then the Lord would show me the death of Christ; yea, so sprinkle my conscience with His blood, that I should find, and that before I was aware, that in that conscience, where but just now did reign and rage the law, even there would rest and abide the peace and love of God, through Christ.
128. Now I had an evidence, as I thought, of my salvation, from heaven, with many golden seals thereon,
112. Once I was troubled to know whether the Lord Jesus was man as well as God, and God as well as man: and truly, in those days, let men say what they would, unless I had it with evidence from heaven, all was nothing to me; I counted myself not set down in any truth of God. Well, I was much troubled about this point, and could not tell how to be resolved; at last, that in Rev. v. 6 came into my mind: AND I BEHELD, AND, TO, IN THE MIDST OF THE THRONE, AND OF THE FOUR BEASTS, AND IN THE MIDST OF THE ELDERS, STOOD A LAMB, AS IT HAD BEEN SLAIN. In the midst of the throne, thought I, there is the Godhead; in the midst of the elders, there is His manhood; but, oh! methought this did glister! It was a goodly touch, and gave me sweet satisfaction. That other scripture also did help me much in this, FOR UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN, UNTO US A SON IS GIVEN; AND THE GOVERNMENT SHALL BE UPON HIS SHOULDER: AND HIS NAME SHALL BE CALLED WONDERFUL, COUNSELLOR, THE MIGHTY GOD, THE EVERLASTING FATHER, THE PRINCE OF PEACE, etc. Isa. ix. 6.
123. Also besides these teachings of God in His word, the Lord made use of two things to confirm me in this truth; the one was the errors of the Quakers and the other was the guilt of sin; for as the Quakers did oppose this truth, so God did the more confirm me in it, by leading me into the scripture that did wonderfully maintain it.
124. The errors that this people then maintained, were:-
'1. That the holy scriptures were not the word of God.
'2. That every man in the world had the spirit of Christ, grace, faith, etc.
'3. That Christ Jesus, as crucified, and dying sixteen hundred years ago, did not satisfy divine justice for the sins of the people.
'4. That Christ's flesh and blood were within the saints.
'5. That the bodies of the good and bad that are buried in the church-yard, shall not arise again.
'6. That the resurrection is past with good men already.
'7. That that man Jesus, that was crucified between two thieves, on mount CALVARY, in the land of CANAAN, by JERUSALEM, was not ascended above the starry heavens.
'8. That He should not, even the same Jesus that died by the hands of the Jews, come again at the last day; and as man, judge all nations,' etc.
125. Many more vile and abominable things were in those days fomented by them, by which I was driven to a more narrow search of the scriptures, and was through their light and testimony, not only enlightened, but greatly confirmed and comforted in the truth: And, as I said, the guilt of sin did help me much; for still as that would come upon me, the blood of Christ did take it off again, and again, and again; and that too sweetly, according to the scripture. O FRIENDS! CRY TO GOD TO REVEAL JESUS CHRIST UNTO YOU; THERE IS NONE TEACHETH LIKE HIM.
126. It would be too long here to stay, to tell you in particular, how God did set me down in all the things of Christ, and how He did, that He might so do, lead me into His words; yea, and also how He did open them unto me, and make them shine before me, and cause them to dwell with me, talk with me, and comfort me over and over, both of His own being, and the being of His Son, and Spirit, and word, and gospel.
127. Only this, as I said before, I will say unto you again, that in general, He was pleased to take this course with me; first, to suffer me to be afflicted with temptations concerning them, and then reveal them unto me; as sometimes I should lie under great guilt for sin, even crushed to the ground therewith; and then the Lord would show me the death of Christ; yea, so sprinkle my conscience with His blood, that I should find, and that before I was aware, that in that conscience, where but just now did reign and rage the law, even there would rest and abide the peace and love of God, through Christ.
128. Now I had an evidence, as I thought, of my salvation, from heaven, with many golden seals thereon,