Have a New Kid by Friday - Dr Kevin Leman [100]
What about body piercings? I talked about earrings earlier (see “Earrings”), so I won’t discuss that again, but I will discuss other body piercings.
Recently Jeff, a dad I know, was shopping at Best Buy. He’s an early-thirties hip dad. But after spending 20 minutes in the store, trying to decipher what a clerk was saying, he asked to see the manager. You see, the young clerk had a pierced tongue, and as hard as Jeff tried, he couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. His point to the manager was that the store should at least hire clerks who could communicate with the customers.
I’m not making any moral judgments about nose, tongue, eyebrow, belly button, or other piercings. I’m simply saying that allowing your 14-year-old daughter to “express herself” by allowing her to get her tongue pierced is plain stupid. It’s gross. It’s sanitarily unsafe, with all those germs in the mouth. And it certainly isn’t going to help her socially to be trying to talk to others with slurred speech and clicking—especially to those who don’t have pierced tongues (the majority of the population).
Also, a parent would be wise to keep in mind that what a child wants to do at 14 isn’t necessarily what she wants to do at 17. A lot of maturing happens during those years. Any kind of piercings that take place on nontraditional parts of the body (i.e., other than the earlobe) are really acts of silent rebellion. They’re done to show the whole world “I’m not like anyone else.” I go back to my view that there are better ways of showing the world your uniqueness than harming your body.
I think it’s okay for a parent to say no to tattooing and body piercing. After all, the parent is usually the one who is paying for it. Why would you pay to harm your child’s body? Give the kid vitamin N (No) if tattoos or body piercings don’t square with your values and your belief system.
Telephone Courtesy
How do your children answer the phone?
“Yeah? Who’s calling?”
“This is Megan. Who’s calling, please?”
“Yo! What’s up?”
“This is the Leman residence. May I help you?”
Have you taught your child proper telephone courtesy—how to answer a phone? Have you taught your children not to admit to any callers when they are home alone? They should let the answering machine pick up the call (unless it’s someone who lives in the house who is calling) or simply say, “I’m sorry, she isn’t available right now. May I take a message?”
When someone asks for you, do your children say, “May I tell her who’s calling?” (the proper etiquette instead of the demand, “Who’s calling?”), or do they yell, “Ma!” at top pitch from across the house?
How do your children respond next? It should be whatever you prefer as a family, such as, “Hang on, I’ll get her for you.”
If you think this isn’t an important enough thing to bother with, consider this. When I speak to businessmen, I ask them: “Who answers the phone for your auto dealership?” It’s the receptionist. She’s the first person who has contact with the outside world of that business. So that receptionist is the one who represents you as the CEO. Similarly, you need to be sureof who is answering the phone and how, because it reflects on you and the way you do business in your home.
If your child needs to ask for something on the phone, teach him to start with a statement: “I need your help. Could you help me?” If you start by such a statement, it’s hard for the person on the other end to say, “Hey, drop dead.” Usually, asking for help sets up the listener on the other side to say, “How can I help you?” The difference is subtle but effective.
I’ve already talked about what to do when children interrupt you on the phone (see “Interruptions”), but I’ll summarize it here. Most parents