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By Root 649 0

and return to your breathing. Watch what the next feeling is and give it a label. Then let it go. Do this for three minutes, and after each minute of observation, note how you are feeling, then take a deep breath and yawn. The internal dialogue might sound something like this: “Anger—anger—sadness—pain—I feel like running away—I want to lash out and hit—I want to run away—I don't care that I'm angry—this meditation is stupid—I'm not getting anywhere with this—now I'm really sad—ah, the feeling is fading—no, it isn't…”

If your mind wanders to some other topic, simply take another deep breath and refocus on your angry memory. Notice if your feelings begin to change, but do not judge yourself.

Next, ask yourself if you have ever felt this kind of anger before, and make a mental “list” of all the times you can recall. Is there a person from kindergarten whom you can recall being angry at? Visualize that person and say his or her name aloud, if you recall it. Then do the same thing with first grade, second grade, third grade, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth. Then high school: How many people do you recall being angry at when you were an adolescent? Say their names, take a deep breath, and let the memories and feelings fade away.

Now shift your attention to your family. Recall an instance of anger toward your mother, your father, a sibling, Take another deep breath and let these memories fade away.

Think about the last time you got angry. With whom? About what? Remember how you reacted. How does it make you feel now? Once more, take a deep breath and let those feelings go.

Yawn five times and note how your feelings have changed. If the anger is still there, don't judge it, condemn it, or condone it. Just accept it as a natural feeling inside.

The next time you feel angry toward someone, set aside ten minutes and improvise on the exercise above. Visualize the person's face. Watch where in your body you experience the anger, and use your breathing to explore all the memories of anger associated with that individual. For some people this may take far longer than ten minutes, but it's important to see how deep they run. See if the anger you feel reminds you of different people in the past, and take a few minutes to make a mental list of their names.

Often your anger will subside by observing it, but sometimes negative feelings run very deep, and they will not go away by meditating on them. But that is okay, because the practice trains your mind to slowly disconnect from your feelings. Simple observation is a frontal lobe activity, and the more you activate your frontal lobe and anterior cingulate, the more you'll decrease activity in the limbic areas that generate anger and hurt.

When dealing with difficult people in your present life, you may find it helpful to set aside a few minutes every day to practice this meditation in conjunction with the forgiveness meditation you will shortly learn. If you choose to meditate on the roots of your anger by simply watching where your thoughts and feelings go, in a few days or a week you should notice a distinct difference in how you emotionally process your anger. In fact, you might find that underneath the anger are other strong feelings, like hurt. Use the same structure I just taught you and substitute the new feeling for anger.

If you find yourself stuck in anger, I recommend that you do some form of aerobic exercise—you can even run around the block—until the anger subsides. It's almost impossible to stay angry when you're exercising, because any form of cardiovascular workout strongly activates frontal lobe circuits. Indeed, it may be the best and most reliable mood enhancer in the world.47

But meditation does something that exercise fails to do. It trains your mind to recognize the hundreds of subconscious thoughts associated with every mood. You start to understand how feelings work. By passively observing your emotions, you disengage from them, and this allows for a calmer mental state to take over. As far as we can tell, only human beings have the