How to Train a Wild Elephant_ And Other Adventures in Mindfulness - Jan Chozen Bays [55]
DEEPER LESSONS
Tongue practice is one of the best examples of the power of mindfulness. When we focus the quiet mind on anything, that one small thing will open up and reveal an entire universe, a universe that was always there but somehow hidden. In the case of the tongue, it literally was hidden right beneath our nose. Ordinarily we are unaware of our tongue as it carries out its many tasks. We only notice it when we bite or burn it. People are often amazed when they begin to pay attention to their tongue. “It’s like a little man living inside my mouth, always taking care of things in there.”
The tongue operates better when we let it alone. This is a good example of how things often function better if we can get out of the way and not try to control them. We could not possibly direct our tongue to do its job: “Move part of that bite to the right side. Look out! Here come the teeth, get out of the way! Time to swallow—no, wait! Not when I’m breathing in!” We could not design a computer program sophisticated enough to do what the tongue does for us.
Our tongue has been caring for us since before we were born, twenty-four hours a day, and we barely notice it unless we hurt it. This is one of the many ways we are supported and cared for in our lives that we do not notice or appreciate. We are largely unconscious of the continual presence of the earth below, which supports our every step, or of the air above, which contains the right mixture of 21 percent oxygen, 78 percent nitrogen, and water vapor necessary to support our life. As surely as we can become aware of the hidden life of our tongue, we can also, through practice, become aware of the many blessings of our life.
Final Words: The tongue has its own wisdom. Like most things, it operates better when we don’t try to control it.
44
Impatience
The Exercise: Become aware of impatience as it arises during the day. Be aware of the signals in the body (tapping fingers) and the talk in the mind (“Hurry up!”) that accompany impatience. Ask yourself, “Why am I in a rush? What do I want to rush ahead to get to?” See what answers arise.
REMINDING YOURSELF
Post notes saying “Notice Impatience” in your environment, especially in places where you know impatience is likely to arise.
DISCOVERIES
Impatience is a common experience in our modern world. We become impatient when traffic slows or stops, when someone is late for a meeting, whenever we have to wait and “do nothing.” Body signals of impatience are different for each individual. They include rapid heart rate, tapping fingers, jiggling legs, tightness in the chest or stomach, jitteriness. While doing this exercise I discovered that I always lean forward when I’m driving, as if driving is a waste of time and I could get there faster by leaning forward.
Mind signals of impatience include agitation, carelessness, irritability, and certain types of internal phrases, sometimes spoken aloud, such as “I can’t believe how long this is taking,” “What’s the holdup?” “You idiot, get moving!” and many, more colorful utterances.
It can be interesting to look at where or when you learned to be impatient. Were your parents not patient? Did you learn it at school, because the teacher was uninteresting, or because the lessons moved too quickly or slowly? People afflicted with impatience often have trouble waiting for someone to finish speaking, interrupting with a premature reply because they think that they know what the person will eventually say, but can’t bear to wait for them to say it. (An antidote is the practice of absorptive listening, described in chapter 38.)
Impatience depends upon the mind moving ahead into the future and trying to force