How to Train a Wild Elephant_ And Other Adventures in Mindfulness - Jan Chozen Bays [56]
DEEPER LESSONS
Impatience is an aspect of aversion, one of the three poisons described in Buddhist thought (the other two are clinging and delusion). The notion of its being “poison” is fitting since these three can literally make us mentally and physically ill. The term aversion refers to our mistaken belief that if we could just get rid of something or someone, we would be happy. If I could quit this job, or find a more loving partner, if all criminals could be put in jail, if we could get rid of all terrorists or Democrats or immigrants, if we could get rid of impatient people, then the world would be a good place for us to live. Impatience is one of the milder forms of aversion.
When the mind voices impatience or the body betrays it, it can be helpful to ask the mind, “We’re in a rush to get this over with so that we can do what?” Typically the mind says, “So we can get on to the next thing to do.” You then repeat the question, “So we’d like to get this over with and move on to the next thing so that we can do what?” With each answer, keep asking, “Then what?” You come to see that the mind is in a rush to get to the end of this hour, this day, and by logical extension, to get to the end of the week, the end of the year . . . and . . . to the end of life? As we rush, we have to remind ourselves that ultimately we are rushing toward the end of life. Is that really what we want to do?
We also rush to get through tasks we consider boring or tedious, such as washing the dishes, so that we can get to the things we consider interesting or relaxing, such as buying something online or watching a video. When we learn to bring moment-to-moment mindfulness to all aspects of our life, then the activities we were in a hurry to finish become interesting. When the mind is not straining at the leash to pull us into the future, then these activities can also be relaxing.
Impatience is a form of anger, and underneath anger/aversion is always fear. If the fear can be named, you can begin to dissolve the anger. Question: What is the fear underlying impatience?
It is fear of there not being enough time. This is both an unrealistic and a realistic fear. It is realistic because we never know when our life will end, and there are many things we want to do and experience before we die. Fear of not enough time is also unrealistic because time is the creation of our own mind. When we are able to quiet our mind, enter pure awareness, and match the flow of events, time disappears. The tranquillity of the eternal opens, and we are at peace.
Final Words: Impatience steals our life away. When impatience arises, drop into the present moment, breathing, listening, and feeling sensations.
45
Anxiety
The Exercise: Become aware of anxiety. Notice all the body sensations, emotions, and thoughts associated with anxiety. Racing heart? Racing thoughts? Notice when anxiety first makes its appearance in the day. Does it appear as you drink coffee, as you watch the news, or as you arrive at school or work? Several times a day, pause briefly to assess whether anxiety is present within you. You may also notice what makes anxiety worse, and what relieves it.
REMINDING YOURSELF
You can post little signs asking, “Are You Anxious?” in your environment, or images of anxious faces. Each time you notice one, pause to assess signs and symptoms of anxiety.
DISCOVERIES
People are often surprised to discover that anxiety is a more constant companion in their lives than they thought. Anxiety is so pervasive in modern culture that people often don’t notice it until their mind becomes quieter and more attuned, through mindfulness practice, to changes in the body and in the mind. It may pop up when the alarm clock buzzes or with the first ring of the phone. Some people find that they wake up