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Love forever and always, no matter what,

Mommy

11

I AM MOM, HEAR ME ROAR

As moms, we are defined by the most important job we do—taking care of our kids. Being a mother is the most tiring job you will ever have, and it’s the most worthwhile job. And while we are busy creating the memories and traditions that will provide our kids with a good foundation, for some reason, everyone has an opinion of how we should look or act as a mom. Add in the issue of whether a mom needs to stay at home or work outside of the house, and we have a whole new set of pressures, beginning with the pressure and guilt we put on ourselves.

There are days I just don’t do a good job as a mom and I know it. Every mom gets exhausted, frustrated, and feels guilty, and I often felt this way with so many toddlers. Frequently in my journal I wrote the words, “I was less than patient with the kids today Sometimes I am so tired that my fuse is almost nonexistent. It’s not fair for the kids to have an impatient mom. Tomorrow I will do a better job.”

And I often prayed for patience, as this prayer illustrates:

Lord, thank you for loving me no matter what kind of mom I’ve been today. Thanks for being a perfect role model for me as a parent. Thank you, Lord, for each one of my amazing children. Thank you for all of their dear little faces and for the daily chaos they provide our house with. Please help me to see all the noise and chaos and irritations as good things—because they are all healthy enough to cause these things. Thank you for choosing to give each of them to me. Help me to be a patient and loving mother and not a mean and yelling crazy mother! Please remind me when I get out of line that I need to be more patient. Thank you, Lord, for a fresh new start tomorrow to do better. Amen.

Our kids needs always come first, but we should not be paralyzed by mommy guilt when we aren’t perfect. I feel guilt when there’s not enough time for each kid individually. I had eight young kids, and I needed to keep the house running—bills paid, meals cooked, laundry done, house cleaned, appointments scheduled, etc. I didn’t have a lot of time for each of them individually each day.

I felt guilt when I was too tired to play a game with them in the evenings. By the end of the day, I was just exhausted and didn’t always have the energy to run outside and play with them. I sat a lot in the evenings, as I had run around all day taking care of them. By the time seven p.m. came I was ready for bed. I was so grateful Jon would come home and play with them in the backyard. I was out there with them, but often I wasn’t actively playing.

I felt guilt when I couldn’t hear them over each other’s noise when someone was trying to tell me something important.

I felt guilt when I’d spoken too harshly with a child and could have responded better. It’s particularly a struggle to figure out the right way to handle a child when they have hurt their brother or sister on purpose. When I was lying in bed reviewing the day, I would think of all the things I could have done differently.

I felt guilt when we didn’t have money for special things for each of them. We took them to the playground quite a bit, but we couldn’t afford Hershey Park, which was local. Every so often we took them for ice cream, but even that got expensive with eight kids. We just wanted to give them as normal of a childhood as possible. I thank God we were able to afford some of these things when we were filming the show, but even then there just wasn’t extra money for eight kids and everything you want to give them.

I see being a mom as the best yet hardest job in the world. It’s so hard to live up to the high standards we place on ourselves, and I’m trying to learn that we just have to do our best as moms. No one is perfect; everyone makes mistakes. We need to let go of our mommy guilt, get up tomorrow, and do a better job. Tomorrow is a new day, which promises a fresh start. As long as we’re doing our best every day, keeping our kids safe and healthy,