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IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark

hay un gato encerrado (Spanish) there’s a cat shut up

les dés sont pipés (French) the dice are cheated

il y a anguille sous roche (French) there is an eel under the rock

iskat’ igolku v stoge sena (Russian) there is a needle in the haystack

hayya min taht tibn (Arabic) a snake under the hay

23.

From Better to Hearse

Dios es el que sana, y el medico lleva la plata (Spanish)

God cures the patient and the doctor pockets the fee

Fagged out

We have all kinds of habits that aren’t exactly good for us. As the Italian proverb cheerily goes: ‘Bacco, tabacco e Venere, riducon l’uomo in cenere’, Bacchus, tobacco and Venus make men into ashes:

Glimmstengel (German) a cigarette (literally, a glowing stick)

pitillo (Spanish) a cigarette (literally, a small whistle)

bychkovat’ (Russian) to smoke only part of a cigarette so as to save the butt

sassakisibingweiabas (Ojibway, North America) feeling a burning pain in my eyes from too much smoke

Peaky

The simplest symptoms can announce forthcoming suffering:

hí (Rapanui, Easter Island) to have a headache or to blow one’s nose

kirukiruppu (Tamil) dizziness

cloch (Scots) to cough frequently and feebly

koodho (Anywa, Nilo-Saharan) to fart repeatedly

ku-susuukirira (Ganda, Uganda) to feel the first shivers of a fever

svimfardig (Swedish) ready to faint

motami-ella (Yamana, Chile) to go home or to a place eastwards and throw up

Hypo

Some people are more likely to succumb to illness than others:

niba n aoraki (Gilbertese, Oceania) a person very susceptible to catching every disease

mabuk darah (Malay) one who becomes sick upon seeing blood

wakakhtakeća (Dakota, USA) one who is made sick by a little matter, one who is nervous

aráttam (Tamil) the anxiety of a sick person

STD

Love is often described using the terminology of disease, as with dongai (Fijian) love sickness; while sex is seen both as a cause of sickness and as a cure:

pham-phòng (Vietnamese) to become sick after having intercourse

una cachiaspirina (Chilean Spanish) refers to how one will sweat heavily during sex and thus kill a cold

Sweating carrots

All too soon things become more serious:

zweet peentjes (Dutch) sweating like a pig (literally, sweating carrots)

fare i gattini (Italian) to vomit (literally, to make the kittens)

ca-ca-ca (Tsonga, South Africa) to have diarrhoea; to rain heavily

sarar burer (Chorti, Guatemala) a fever accompanied by an itch

útsu (Telugu, India) the falling out of the hair from sickness

oka/shete (Ndonga, Namibia) urination difficulties caused by eating frogs before the rain has duly fallen

kinudegan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a disease in men that causes the penis to retract inside the body

Quack remedies

Routine must be interrupted and steps must be taken:

krankfeiern (German) to call in sick (literally, to celebrate illness)

tombola (Kalanga, Botswana) to extract a thorn from flesh using a safety pin

tervismuda (Estonian) curative mud

verkwakzalveren (Dutch) to spend money on quack remedies

kudóripannugirathu (Tamil) to slit or cut the top of the head in order to put in medicine to cure dangerous diseases

Docteur, docteur

Few enjoy handing themselves over to doctors, but sometimes it’s unavoidable; or, as they say in France, inévitable:

trente-trois say ah! (literally, thirty-three – said by a doctor to the patient)

artilleur de la pièce humide a male nurse (literally, artilleryman of the wet gun)

passer sur le billard to undergo surgery (literally, to go onto the billiard table)

Surgical spirit

In some societies recommended cures may not be primarily medical:

millu (Quechuan, Andes) a rock of aluminium sulphate used by witch doctors, who diagnose illnesses by analysing its colour change when it is thrown into a fire

ti-luoiny (Car, Nicobar Islands) to call on the spirit of a sick man to return

tawák (Tagalog, Philippines) a quack doctor with magic saliva

anavinakárayá (Sinhala,