I Never Knew There Was a Word for It - Adam Jacot De Boinod [99]
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Something is rotten in the state of Denmark
hay un gato encerrado (Spanish) there’s a cat shut up
les dés sont pipés (French) the dice are cheated
il y a anguille sous roche (French) there is an eel under the rock
iskat’ igolku v stoge sena (Russian) there is a needle in the haystack
hayya min taht tibn (Arabic) a snake under the hay
23.
From Better to Hearse
Dios es el que sana, y el medico lleva la plata (Spanish)
God cures the patient and the doctor pockets the fee
Fagged out
We have all kinds of habits that aren’t exactly good for us. As the Italian proverb cheerily goes: ‘Bacco, tabacco e Venere, riducon l’uomo in cenere’, Bacchus, tobacco and Venus make men into ashes:
Glimmstengel (German) a cigarette (literally, a glowing stick)
pitillo (Spanish) a cigarette (literally, a small whistle)
bychkovat’ (Russian) to smoke only part of a cigarette so as to save the butt
sassakisibingweiabas (Ojibway, North America) feeling a burning pain in my eyes from too much smoke
Peaky
The simplest symptoms can announce forthcoming suffering:
hí (Rapanui, Easter Island) to have a headache or to blow one’s nose
kirukiruppu (Tamil) dizziness
cloch (Scots) to cough frequently and feebly
koodho (Anywa, Nilo-Saharan) to fart repeatedly
ku-susuukirira (Ganda, Uganda) to feel the first shivers of a fever
svimfardig (Swedish) ready to faint
motami-ella (Yamana, Chile) to go home or to a place eastwards and throw up
Hypo
Some people are more likely to succumb to illness than others:
niba n aoraki (Gilbertese, Oceania) a person very susceptible to catching every disease
mabuk darah (Malay) one who becomes sick upon seeing blood
wakakhtakeća (Dakota, USA) one who is made sick by a little matter, one who is nervous
aráttam (Tamil) the anxiety of a sick person
STD
Love is often described using the terminology of disease, as with dongai (Fijian) love sickness; while sex is seen both as a cause of sickness and as a cure:
pham-phòng (Vietnamese) to become sick after having intercourse
una cachiaspirina (Chilean Spanish) refers to how one will sweat heavily during sex and thus kill a cold
Sweating carrots
All too soon things become more serious:
zweet peentjes (Dutch) sweating like a pig (literally, sweating carrots)
fare i gattini (Italian) to vomit (literally, to make the kittens)
ca-ca-ca (Tsonga, South Africa) to have diarrhoea; to rain heavily
sarar burer (Chorti, Guatemala) a fever accompanied by an itch
útsu (Telugu, India) the falling out of the hair from sickness
oka/shete (Ndonga, Namibia) urination difficulties caused by eating frogs before the rain has duly fallen
kinudegan (Maguindanaon, Philippines) a disease in men that causes the penis to retract inside the body
Quack remedies
Routine must be interrupted and steps must be taken:
krankfeiern (German) to call in sick (literally, to celebrate illness)
tombola (Kalanga, Botswana) to extract a thorn from flesh using a safety pin
tervismuda (Estonian) curative mud
verkwakzalveren (Dutch) to spend money on quack remedies
kudóripannugirathu (Tamil) to slit or cut the top of the head in order to put in medicine to cure dangerous diseases
Docteur, docteur
Few enjoy handing themselves over to doctors, but sometimes it’s unavoidable; or, as they say in France, inévitable:
trente-trois say ah! (literally, thirty-three – said by a doctor to the patient)
artilleur de la pièce humide a male nurse (literally, artilleryman of the wet gun)
passer sur le billard to undergo surgery (literally, to go onto the billiard table)
Surgical spirit
In some societies recommended cures may not be primarily medical:
millu (Quechuan, Andes) a rock of aluminium sulphate used by witch doctors, who diagnose illnesses by analysing its colour change when it is thrown into a fire
ti-luoiny (Car, Nicobar Islands) to call on the spirit of a sick man to return
tawák (Tagalog, Philippines) a quack doctor with magic saliva
anavinakárayá (Sinhala,