If the Buddha Got Stuck_ A Handbook for Change on a Spiritual Path - Charlotte Sophia Kasl [13]
Confident in one’s capacity to problem-solve and take action. People who routinely move through life’s challenges learn to take action when they start to feel stuck. They focus on all possibilities, explore numerous resources, are willing to try many solutions, and are open to creative approaches to the difficulties of life. They have the basic belief of “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” They take a problem-solving approach. And if one thing doesn’t work, they try something else.
Unwilling to remain in extremely unhappy or stressful situations indefinitely. People who stay unstuck have a kind of happiness set point that is higher than people who stay stuck. They aren’t willing to be sick and depressed indefinitely without doing something to try to remedy the situation. They believe life is too precious to be miserable and, bolstered by an inner confidence, they move to take action and effect change. They know that joy is possible—they’ve lived it and felt it—and it’s where they want to be. Thus, when situations lead to stress, agitation, or pain, they look for ways to resolve, alter, or leave the situation.
Able to give and receive support from friends and family. People who stay unstuck are usually embedded in a community of friends, family, and/or a spiritual community. They can reach out for comfort, celebrate their joys, reveal their fears, trusting they will be accepted, and understood. These connections are deeply soothing and ease anxiety and feelings of alienation or separation.
Do not attach their identity or ego to success or failure. Life is experienced as an adventure with many parts—friendships, relationships, work, career, family, developing talents, and community. People who stay unstuck relish life and don’t depend on achievement or accolades for a sense of self-worth. They might enjoy success, but the real joy is in the adventure—learning, creating, knowing, growing, having new experiences. They develop their gifts and talents but know they are not of their creation. They accept that you win some, lose some, and while they may feel sad or upset, they don’t berate themselves when relationships or situations don’t work out. They are more likely to experience their feelings, ask what they can learn from an experience, and then move on.
Willing to experiment, try new ways of doing things, make mistakes, and then try again with a new plan. Unstuck people aren’t afraid of making mistakes in the interest of achieving a goal. If one approach doesn’t work, they try something different. Like children playing in a sandbox, spending hours making a castle, they are not hampered by endless thoughts of being right or wrong, of succeeding or failing; rather, they have visions, plans, or ideas and keep moving toward them. They might get mad, upset, or frustrated, but they can cool down and try again.
Able to tolerate frustration and uneasiness in the interest of taking on a challenge. Unstuck people are willing to be uncomfortable, uneasy, or to stretch their limits when it’s required for a new adventure or in the interest of improving their life. They keep their focus on the big picture. For example, a person who is determined to have a more secure financial future takes control of his or her spending, perseveres through school or training, or takes a risk to move to a more favorable situation.
Possess a sense of humor and lightheartedness. Unstuck people generally see themselves as part of a greater flow of life and energy. As a result it becomes easier to relax, smile at their foibles, and have mercy on themselves and others when they make the same old mistake or have a hard time in a relationship.