Junie B. Jones Has a Peep in Her Pocket - Barbara Park [4]
“Are you sure all farmers don’t have nub heads?” he said kind of spooky. “Hmm? Are you?”
He did a grin. “Why do you think farmers wear hats?”
Jim leaned closer. “To cover up their nubs, that’s why,” he whispered.
After that, he lifted up my hat.
And he patted my head.
And he cockle-doodly-dooed all over again.
5/E-I-E-I-O
The bus drove for a very long time.
Paulie Allen Puffer was sitting with that Jim I hate. While we were riding, he stood up behind me.
“Junie B.! Junie B.! Listen to the song we just made up!” he said.
Then he and Jim started singing their song as loud as they could:
“Old MacDonald had a nub.
E-I-E-I-O.
And on his nub he had a hat.
E-I-E-I-O.
With an ow! ow! here
And an ow! ow! there.
Here an ow! There an ow!
Everywhere an ow! ow!
Old MacDonald had a nub.
E-I-E-I-O!”
Finally, I covered my ears with my hands so I couldn’t hear them anymore.
Then I singed a loud song of my own.
It is called “Ha Ha. I Can’t Hear You!”
I invented the words myself.
“Ha ha. I can’t hear you!
Ha ha. I can’t hear you!
Ha ha. I can’t hear you!”
I singed that song a jillion times, I think.
Then, all of a sudden, the bus turned down a long dirt road.
And oh no!
It was the farm!
“We’re here! We’re here! We’re here!” shouted the children very thrilled.
I looked out the window.
There was a big house with trees all around it. Also, there was a barn and a tractor and some chickens.
I did a big gulp at those peckery things.
’Cause chickens have pointy lips, just like roosters.
I quick scrunched down on the bus floor.
Then I hided under my backpack very sneaky. ’Cause maybe if I kept real quiet, Mrs. wouldn’t see me. And I could hide on the bus the whole entire time.
Lucille and that Grace stood up from their seats. I made the shh! sign at them.
“Do not tell the teacher I’m here. And I mean it,” I whispered.
Only too bad for me. Because just then, I heard the worstest noise in the world.
It was the noise of a big, dumb tattletale boy.
“TEACHER! TEACHER! JUNIE B. JONES IS HIDING ON THE FLOOR! I SEE HER! I SEE HER!” shouted that meanie Jim.
“SHH!” I yelled.
But Jim did not shh.
Instead, he jumped right up on the bus seat. And he pointed his finger at me.
“SHE’S TRYING TO HIDE UNDER HER BACKPACK SO YOU WON’T SEE HER. BUT YOU CAN SEE ALMOST ALL OF HER PERFECTLY GOOD!”
He got off the seat and waved to me very teasing.
“Ta-ta,” he said. Then he followed Lucille and Grace right off the bus.
After that, my heart got very poundy inside. ’Cause I heard the sound of footprints, that’s why.
I scrunched myself tighter.
“Junie B.?”
It was the voice of Mrs.
I didn’t answer her.
“Junie B. I see you, okay? Your backpack isn’t big enough to hide you,” she said.
I looked up real slow.
“Hello. How are you today?” I said kind of nervous. “I am fine. Only I’m not actually hiding.”
Mrs. crossed her arms.
“Then what are you actually doing?” she asked me.
I did a gulp.
“I’m tidying,” I said.
“Tidying what?” asked Mrs.
I thinked fast.
“I’m tidying the floor,” I told her.
I quick took off my bandanna. Then I wiped up the floor with it.
“Good news,” I said. “It’s tidy now.”
All of a sudden, I heard a chuckle.
I turned my head and saw some boots.
“Junie B. Jones,” said Mrs., “I would like you to meet Farmer Flores. Farmer Flores owns the beautiful farm we’re going to be visiting today.”
I raised my eyes very slow.
Then—finally—I looked all the way to the top of his head.
That’s when my arms got shivers all over them.
’Cause guess what?
Farmer Flores was wearing a hat.
6/Farmer Flores
Farmer Flores did a nice smile.
“Your teacher tells me that you’re not very happy about being here today,” he said.
I felt my forehead again.
“I’m ill,” I said.
“Yes, well, I’ve been thinking about how I could make this a better visit for you. And I was wondering if maybe you would like to be my special farm hand today. Do you know what a special farm hand is, Junie B.?”
I shaked my head no.
“Well, for one thing, the special farm hand gets to walk with the farmer in the