Lies & the Lying Liars Who Tell Them_ A Fair & Balanced Look at the Right - Al Franken [125]
(DONNA starts cleaning up ALLISON’s mess.)
DONNA: Two! Teddy’s six. He has some learning disabilities, but he’s the sweetest boy. And Debbi’s two, and quite a handful, let me tell you. Especially for a single mom like me.
ALLISON: You know, I’m a single mom myself.
DONNA: No kidding!
(DONNA stops cleaning up and leans forward to hear about ALLISON’s kids.)
ALLISON: Yep. In fact, my oldest has a learning disability, too. Good thing I have him in private school, because the public schools are cutting back on special ed.
DONNA: Yeah, I know. They told me that next year Teddy’s not getting special ed. Also, they’re cutting the after-school program.
ALLISON: That’s because Bush proposed cutting the Twenty-First Century Community Learning Centers by forty percent.
DONNA: Bush did that? Well, I still like him. Because he cut my taxes a hundred percent.
ALLISON: Yeah, but you only paid $365 in income taxes. That after-school program alone was spending $700 a student. So, in a sense, you’re already down $335.
DONNA: You’re good with numbers! No wonder you’re a tax attorney.
ALLISON: But, you know, Donna, I’d be less worried about the after-school cuts, and more worried about losing your kids’ health insurance. Here in Texas they’re reducing eligibility in the SCHIP program from $30,520 down to $22,890.
DONNA: SCHIP? But that’s how my kids get their Medicaid coverage.
ALLISON: Yes, you’re losing—let’s see, Medicaid coverage is worth . . . two kids—about $2,896 a year right there.
DONNA: Oh no! What if they get sick?
ALLISON: Just hope they don’t. And you can blame George Bush. Because of the huge tax cut, the federal government can’t fulfill its normal obligations to the states.
DONNA: Unfunded mandates.
ALLISON: Hey. You know the lingo.
DONNA: Yeah. We have Fox News on in here all the time. That’s why I knew I was getting a hundred percent of my taxes cut.
ALLISON: Donna, mind if I ask you a personal question?
DONNA: If it’s the recipe for the pie, no can do.
ALLISON: No, it’s not the pie.
DONNA: Tell you the truth, we get it from a bakery.
ALLISON: Donna, do you live in subsidized housing?
DONNA: Why, yes. We get our Section 8 housing voucher in the mail every month.
ALLISON: Oh, dear. I’m afraid your Section 8 voucher is about to disappear. I’m guessing you live in a two-bedroom apartment with minimum amenities and rent in the fortieth percentile range—say, about $747 a month?
DONNA: That’s right on target!
ALLISON: So your voucher is about $1,464 a year.
DONNA: Wow! If I ever have to pay taxes again, I’m coming straight to you.
ALLISON: Anyway, that’s gone. So, let’s see. After-school—$700. Medicaid—$2,896. Housing—$1,464. So, less your $365 tax cut, you’re down $4,695.
DONNA: Well, Lord knows, I’ve been through hard times before. But as long as I have my child care, at least I can work without worrying about my kids. (Pause) What’s that look?
ALLISON: Texas is getting less funding for its Temporary Assistance for Needy Families. So, they’re cutting back on Child Care and Development Block Grants.
DONNA: But I don’t get block grants.
ALLISON: Yeah. But your child care provider probably does. Or did, I should say.
(Long pause.)
DONNA: How’s the pie?
ALLISON: Donna, how do you get to work?
DONNA: Are they doing somethin’ to my bus?
ALLISON: Probably not. And that’s the point. The state senate just cut public transit funding by 29 percent. They were going to upgrade the buses to cut down on the toxic emissions. Now they’re keeping the old buses and raising the fares.
DONNA: Debbi does get asthma on bad smog days.
(Long pause.)
ALLISON: Pie’s great.
(Another long pause. In the background, we can hear SEAN HANNITY on the television.)
HANNITY (voice-over): That’s class warfare!
LIBERAL GUEST (voice-over):