Life! By Design_ 6 Steps to an Extraordinary You - Laura Morton [22]
Here’s the lesson. We all mess up. The key is to address it as quickly as possible. Do everything in your power to make your peace. Do what you must so you can let it go. If you’re not constantly releasing things that bring you tension or upset, you bottle them up, carry them around, and project them onto everyone else you come in contact with.
An employee of mine had been going through a tremendous amount of turmoil in his life. He had been dealing with a high-stress divorce and all of the change that comes with that transition. His “off” energy around the office was impacting several of his co-workers too. I had to confront the issue, no matter what it was, because his presence was having a negative impact on our workspace. I decided to call him and force the problem to the surface by telling him I wanted to play a game. His only responsibility was to be honest with his answers.
The first question I asked was “Where do you feel resistance in your life right now?”
“I don’t know,” he said. This is a typical answer from people who feel overwhelmed and are afraid to say what is on their mind.
“Listen, my friend. I know something is up because you’re angry all the time. Anger is nothing more than a mask. Whatever you’re resisting is what’s hiding behind your mask. So let’s try to figure out why you’re wearing that mask, okay?”
EXERCISE
Look at the seven most crucial areas of your life and make a list of any that are incomplete. See these incompletes as half circles just waiting to be closed. They could include:
1. A call you’ve been avoiding.
2. A conversation you know you need to have.
3. Not expressing your feelings to someone who has upset you.
4. A project you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t made time for.
5. Something you’ve always wanted to learn but never took the time to.
6. Someone you complain about all the time but never confront.
7. Health commitments you’ve made that you haven’t honored.
8. The bill you’re avoiding by not paying.
9. The savings account that is dwindling.
10. The contract that needs to be renegotiated.
These are just a few ideas to help you figure out the areas in your own life that need to be complete. With every one you complete, you close the circle and remove that piece of resistance from your life, thereby releasing yourself from the drama or upset that has been holding you back.
He agreed to continue, so I asked him about money, knowing that question usually elicits a response because most people worry about money.
“Oh, yeah, I definitely feel resistance with money,” he said.
“Where else are you feeling it?”
“With my ex-wife.” The gates were opening.
“And where else?” I kept probing, knowing there are always more areas to touch on.
“I feel it at work.” Whoa. Remember, this was one of my employees, so I had to give him credit for honesty in that risky response.
“Is it with me?” I asked.
“Yes.” I was stunned but relieved that he could get his feelings out in the open.
“Where is there resistance with us?” I sincerely had no idea what he would say.
There was a pause and then he said, “I love you and want to support our company, yet I realize you can only pay for a job and not the person doing the work. I spend all of my time with you visualizing, dreaming, and co-creating my future. I want to make millions of dollars a year, but my paycheck isn’t in alignment with what I want.”
When you find you’re the person being confronted, the natural tendency is to fight or self-protect. Who was I, as the owner of the company, to stop anyone from achieving