Meandering Mind - Eva Dillner [56]
Needless to say the father from 1721 is no longer in my life. Sure we need to heal and forgive, but how could I ever trust someone capable of that kind of treachery? That person has already done enough damage.
I feel free in a way I haven't before. Sure it would be nice to rekindle the love. After nearly three hundred years we are different people and we would have to start from “who are you now?” But it would be a much better base than most relationships are built on.
I am so grateful that the whole past life memory with all the emotions came up to be healed. It's been very painful but worth every tear. I highly recommend the regression Sylvia Browne uses in Past Lives, Future Healing.
Release through expression
One interesting thing that has been happening during the writing of this book is my body's reaction. In parts, it has been heavy and slow moving. The energy has felt lethargic. I have experienced pain, particularly in my hands and fingers, at other times in my arms or shoulders. I questioned if I should be writing when I felt stiff and in pain. As I reflected, I would realize I hadn't written for a few days, so the cause of the pain probably was not overusing my “typing tools.”
So I sat down to write. Lo and behold, as the words unfolded on the page, as I spoke the heretofore unspoken, as I released what I had held inside, my pain went away. My hands became loose and free, my fingers no longer felt stiff. The pain in my arms left, the discomfort in my shoulders dissolved. I feel freed up. I wonder how many people are walking around with body pain that is caused by held in thoughts and emotions. Not expressing what is bubbling inside makes the pain chronic.
In my therapy training we were taught that to release the tension we needed to experience the emotion fully. I still believe that is true, that to get to the bottom of hurts we need to go into the pain. However, I notice how great the benefits have been from the expressive arts, like dancing, painting, toning and writing. I believe we need to do a variety of things to become whole. We can't get there solely through one method or by digging through the past.
To become whole we need to bring out what is inside of us. We have to risk going out on a limb, to express our inner selves, to share our gift with the world. What we hold inside is our salvation if we bring it out, if we lock it up inside ourselves it is our destruction. The energy must move and flow freely. It is why we are here – to dance in the energy of life.
Twenty-One
If you love something
Pay attention to how you feel about your friends. Do you want what is really best for them, even if it means losing them? I believe love is about freedom. When we truly love ourselves and other people we are free. We accept them as they are. Only first we have to find out who we are and who the other person is.
The lead-in to this book is one of my favorite sayings:
If you love something
set it free
if it comes back to you
it is yours
if it doesn't
it never was
Let's take a look at what that means. The hardest lesson in life is letting go. Many spiritual organizations use the saying let go and let God. Such simple, easy words, yet so hard to do.
When we fall in love, we want to keep that very special someone. The last thing in the world we want is to lose them. Unfortunately, the more we hang on, the more we control, the more likely we are to lose the very thing we cherish.
One of my friends was married for thirty years. Her husband was so afraid of losing her while they were married, that he wasn't free to be himself. Now that they are divorced, and he has “lost her” in the way he thought it must be, they are the best of friends. Ironically, he now treats her in the way she longed for while they were married. Now he brings her flowers, goes shopping with her, calls to see how she is and helps out in many ways. The way I see it, their relationship is now where it was meant to be all along. He