Meandering Mind - Eva Dillner [70]
Healing
What is brought into the light can be healed. That's the beauty of it. To be a woman means I have a right to be sexual, sensual, flirty, intuitive, creative, flowing and loving. There are very few women who feel free to be in full bloom. That is my next challenge, my next area of growth, to become the mature woman in full bloom. To bring out all my human-ness in the dance of life.
When men and women are free to be their natural selves they are empowered. I really like the Hawaiian Huna philosophy. They don't have the same concept of sin as the western authority model. They do have several do nots in their code of forgiveness:
to miss the path, to err by omission
to go overboard
to do excess
to do intentional harm to someone with hate in mind
Quite a different approach than we are used to. Their whole way of life is about following the path of highest life energy. I like that. I think we were all meant to be alive with joy and pleasure as well as pain and sadness. That all aspects of being human need to play a part in our lives.
We are meant to be free of restricting and controlling minds who want to dictate our every action. When I am free they have no power over me. Yes, freedom, that was the last shout from William Wallace in the movie Braveheart. They may try to kill us, but they can never take away our souls and our inner freedom. It's interesting how many world leaders have found their strength while incarcerated in prison. Food for thought. The light gets stronger when the darkness closes in.
Freedom. Be free, be brave and follow your inner guidance. Let yourself live life. Try something new. Make mistakes. Be here now. What are you waiting for?
Twenty-Eight
Lifting the curse
Another restless night. I get up to do Sylvia Browne's regression once more. I want to get to the bottom of my “sin” and heal the curse of the church. As I go back in time, first to age twenty in this life, I revisit my time with Jerry, where the church he belonged to drilled home the message that women were less than men, at age ten I revisit another shaming experience, then at conception I meet up with my twin sister who then opted out of being born. My twin helps me understand that my most important mission in this life is to heal the guilt and shame and to help myself and all women to be free of the curse of sin, to lift the curse of womanhood.
As I travel backward in time, the regression leads me straight to France, the Abbey of St. Maur to be exact and the year is 1401. My name is Clarisse, a young woman of 22 with long black curly hair and green eyes. I have committed the mortal sin of getting pregnant, allowing a man to come into me while still a maiden, not yet married. The young man from the Brussels life is there too, he is my brother and a great comfort and support to me.
There is a leader in the church who curses me and I take on the whole belief system of sin. That I have done wrong. That it is entirely my fault as a woman that the man could not control himself and I bear the entire blame for the child that is growing in my belly.
I seek solace in the church, praying for help to be “good” and “pure.” In that life I lived and died in shame. In this current life, I had come across the cross of St. Maur about the time all these past lives started to unravel. I bought a pendant and have been wearing it every day since.
The dilemma for believers is that God is all good. God does not punish or believe in sin. It is a human construct. The church has made up the idea of sin to keep the flock