Monster - A. Lee Martinez [68]
The creature gurgled. It belched, spitting out the chair, before disappearing into the earth.
17
Judy sat in Mrs. Lotus’s backyard. Ed had been nice enough to go and buy some beers and pretzels, and together they sat under the early-evening sky. They didn’t talk. Judy had too much on her mind, although she really wasn’t thinking about any of it. Instead, she ate pretzels and studied Ed.
“So what are you?” asked Judy. “I mean, what were you? Before.”
“Before?” asked Ed.
Judy hesitated, wondering if it was bad manners to ask this question.
“Y’know…” She let the question hang, but Ed didn’t seem to get it. “Before Lotus did the thing to you.”
“You mean, the transformation?”
“Yes, that.”
“Horse.” Ed smiled, sipped her beer. “This is yummy, isn’t it?” Judy examined Ed. It was kind of obvious when you knew what to look for. Strong legs, thin face with large teeth, big brown eyes.
“I get it,” realized Judy aloud.
Ed’s blank expression made it obvious she didn’t.
“Mr. Ed was a talking horse,” said Judy. “On an old TV show.”
“Mrs. Lotus doesn’t let us watch TV.”
Judy had guessed that, since Lotus didn’t own a set. It was the only reason Judy was out here in the backyard, watching the evening sky. It was more entertaining than she’d first assumed. The tea was still working its magic, and she noticed things. Like a flock of birds perched on a nearby telephone line. They weren’t birds at all but miniature gargoyles. And the garden gnomes in Lotus’s garden were really alive. They stood very still, but she caught one of them blinking.
“And Ferdinand used to be a bull—er, cow?” said Judy.
“Yes.”
“And all the cats, they used to be other things too, right?”
“Not all of them,” said Ed. “But, yes, most. They’re the test subjects.”
“What is she testing?”
“I don’t know.”
“Does it have anything to do with preserving the natural order?”
“I really don’t know. I can’t understand Mrs. Lotus’s plans. I don’t think anyone can.”
“You’ve never wondered?”
“Mrs. Lotus is very old, you know. Older than anyone. She must know what she’s doing.”
“Uh-huh,” said Judy without commitment.
Several gargoyles swept down to attack Lotus’s tomato plants. The garden gnomes sprang into action, fending off the creatures. The battle was brief, and the gargoyles were repelled.
All they wanted was a single stinking tomato. It wasn’t a lot to ask for. Judy went over and picked a couple of juicy red ones from the garden. The gnomes threatened her with their spears, but she brushed them aside. She tossed the tomatoes to the gargoyles. They ate the fruit while crowing with high-pitched glee.
Judy smirked at the garden guardians. She may not have been able to beat her own garden gnomes. Hell, she wasn’t even sure what her personal tomato was. But there was something empowering about helping the gargoyles find theirs.
The ground rumbled beneath Judy’s feet. She backed away as the garden split open. Gnomes were tossed in the air, much to the cackling delight of the gargoyles. A purple hissing worm rose up. The huge creature convulsed as its round mouth opened. With a horrible retching shriek it spit a Day-Glo orange man before Judy. The worm wiped the drool from its maw with a long tongue, then sank back into the ground, leaving only a seven-foot hole where the garden used to be.
The garden gnomes picked themselves off the ground as the gargoyles chortled at their misfortune. The orange man, covered in slime, groaned.
“Monster?” said Judy. “Is that you?”
He pushed himself to his knees and wiped the slime from his face. “Oh, shit. It’s you. I knew it would be you. It’s always you.”
Ed came over. “Are you all right?”
Monster sputtered and coughed. Slime had gotten up his nostrils, into