Naamah's Kiss - Jacqueline Carey [40]
On the far side of the glade, I saw Her emerge.
My heart sang inside me.
Moonlight silvered Her brown fur. She paced across the glade, the ground trembling beneath Her massive paws. I stood, dizzy and wavering, filled with awe and joy. Stone and sea, She was vast! As She rounded the lake, it seemed Her head blotted out the stars. And then Her size changed as She drew nearer, fitting Herself to my scale, only twice the size of an ordinary bear—yet no less wondrous for it.
"You're so beautiful," I breathed, scarce able to speak. "So very beautiful!"
The Maghuin Dhonn Herself lowered Her majestic head toward me. Her eyes were dark and wise, filled with a knowledge older than time. I could have stood forever gazing into them. Her nostrils twitched and I felt Her warm breath on my face.
Hers.
I was Hers.
"Thank you." Tears of joy stung my eyes. "Thank you!" I reached out one hand to touch her moon-silvered fur, unable to resist.
She turned away.
I felt a shock of abandonment. "Wait!" I cried, taking a few stumbling steps. "Please, don't go!" Several yards beyond me, She paused and turned Her head. There was sorrow and regret in Her eyes. "Please!" I begged. "I don't know what this means!" Looking toward the cavern for guidance, I cast a glance over my shoulder and gasped.
The stone doorway stood behind me.
But beyond it lay the sea. It sparkled in the bright sunlight, waves rippling and churning, stretching all the way to the horizon. Overhead, gulls wheeled in the blue sky uttering raucous cries.
I looked back.
The Maghuin Dhonn Herself regarded me with infinite compassion. I took a deep breath, my body trembling. I didn't understand, not really. And yet the spark inside me knew. "I have a very long way to go, don't I?" I asked softly.
She didn't answer.
I wiped my eyes. "May I at least keep this memory?"
Her great head dipped in consent.
"Thank you," I whispered. "I don't know where it is I'm meant to go or what it is I'm meant to do, but I'll try to make You proud."
Brightness shimmered and the expression on Her face changed. It was a look like my mother's embrace, hard and fierce. And it said without words that whatever came to pass, I was Hers, Her joy and Her pride, now and always and forever. My heart too full for words, I nodded in silent acknowledgment. It was a gift of grace I would carry with me always.
She left and did not look back.
I watched Her go, swaying on my feet. The glade was empty. I could feel Her presence moving away. When I could sense it no longer, I turned back to face the stone doorway. It showed nothing but the glade and the mountainside beyond, but I knew that somewhere beyond here lay a sea I was meant to cross.
More than one, mayhap.
I let myself glance around once more. It was beautiful and I longed to stay. Now that I had seen Her, I yearned to follow Her. I would follow Her over the mountains as my ancestors had followed Her across the ice when the world was young, marking neither day nor night in this twilight deeper than any mortal twilight. I would ask nothing more in life than to bask in Her presence.
But it was not to be. Instead, I would carry Her presence with me, never, ever forgetting that I was a child of the Maghuin Dhonn.
The bright spark of Her spirit inside me pulsed with steady life. I pressed one clenched fist to my heart and stepped through the doorway.
* * *
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
On the far side of the stone door it was day. I blinked in the sudden dazzle of sunlight, shading my eyes. The world wavered and sparkled in my vision. I didn't feel sleepy or hungry, but I was suddenly as weak as a day-old kitten. Dark figures scrambled down the mountainside to assist me.
They didn't ask if I had seen Her.
They knew.
I let them help me back to the cavern. No one spoke, for which I was grateful. I wasn't ready for words yet. When my vision cleared, my mother's face was the first