Nolo's Essential Guide to Divorce - Emily Doskow [69]
• Three-night period means fewer transitions for child
• Won't work if nonresidential parent lives too far away to drop off child at school or day care.
Option 3: Eight Overnights
Every other weekend and weekly midweek overnight: Friday afternoon to Sunday evening and every Wednesday afternoon to Thursday morning
Factors to consider:
• No separation from either parent greater than six days
• Nonresidential parent engaged with school and homework
• Residential parent gets an evening off during the week
• No transition on Wednesday evening after visitation.
Option 4: Ten Overnights
Every other extended weekend (Friday afternoon to Monday morning) and every Wednesday afternoon to Thursday morning.
Factors to consider:
• Same as in Option 3, plus nonresidential parent more engaged in school and homework
• No separation from either parent greater than seven days.
Option 5: Twelve Overnights
Parent A: Sunday to Thursday; Parent B: Thursday to Sunday
Factors to consider:
• Only one transition per week
• Parent A has mostly school time; Parent B mostly weekend time, so there's an imbalance in activities they're each involved in.
Option 6: Fourteen Overnights
Split time between parents and alternate schedule each week as follows:
Parent A/Week One: Sunday evening to Wednesday morning
Parent B/Week One: Wednesday afternoon to Sunday evening
Parent A/Week Two: Saturday evening to Wednesday morning
Parent B/Week Two: Wednesday morning to Saturday evening
Factors to Consider:
• Both parents have weekday and weekend time
• Only one face-to-face transition per week
• No separation from either parent longer than four days
• Completely equal time share.
Option 7: Fourteen Overnights
Split midweeks and every other weekend:
Parent A: Monday evening to Wednesday evening each week, and every other weekend
Parent B: Wednesday evening to Friday morning each week, and every other weekend
Factors to consider:
• All transitions occur at school or day care
• No separation from either parent greater than five days
• Completely equal time share
• Both parents have weekday and weekend time
• Can be a challenging schedule for children with physical or learning disabilities or difficult temperament.
These are merely some examples of possible schedules. You and your spouse can use them to discuss what is appropriate for your kids-and not all of these plans will be appropriate for all children (for example, some kids do better with transitions than others, and kids with learning disabilities or other school-related issues might not do well with transitions in the middle of the week).
For additional examples, as well as tools that can help you sketch out your own possible parenting plans, check out these websites:
• www.afccnet.org: the website of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts has lots of resources for parents. Click the link for "Resource Center" and then "Resources for Parents."
• www.state.ak.us/courts/forms/dr-475.pdf. This link takes you to the Alaska state court Model Parenting Agreement.
• If you're interested in research on child development and divorce, Dr. Kelly also has some academic articles that you can review. Children's Living Arrangements Following Separation and Divorce: Insights from Empirical and Clinical Research was published in Family Process journal, Volume 46, pages 35-52, in 2007, and Developing Beneficial Parenting Plan Models for Children Following Separation and Divorce was in, journal of American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, Volume 19, in 2005.
Splitting Up the Kids
Although it's not common, some parents do opt to separate their kids, each taking primary custody of one or more children. Separating siblings during a stressful time like a divorce isn't generally a great idea, but there may be situations where it makes sense-for example, if there's an enormous age gap between the kids and they don't have much of a relationship, if one kid has drug or behavioral problems that you think you could deal with better in isolation from siblings,