Supercoach - Michael Neill [57]
3. Play around with each image. Notice what happens if you lift the first person up above you so you have to literally “look up” at them. How do you feel? Do you feel more or less comfortable in their virtual presence? What do you think about this person as you look up at them?
4. Next, put the person beneath you so you’re literally “looking down” on them. How do you feel? Do you feel more or less powerful? What do you think about this person as you look at them “down there”?
5. Finally, see the person directly in front of you, so you can look each other straight in the eye. Notice how you feel. Do you feel more or less comfortable? More or less powerful? What do you think about this person as you look directly at them?
6. Repeat Steps 2 to 5 for the other two people on your list. Notice where you have them sorted in your internal hierarchy, and decide where you’d like to put them from now on.
7. Take each of the three people you have been thinking about (and anyone else you know!) and put their name into the following sentences. Notice whatever feelings come up as you say each one, either inside your head or aloud:
a. “I am better than _____.”
b. “_____ is better than me.”
c. “I am _____’s equal.”
d. “_____ is my equal.”
Over the Edge of the World
As I mentioned, one of my first mentors was Stuart Wilde. As well as being an author, Stuart delights in taking people out to the edges of their thought-created world and, on occasion, pushing them over the edge and out into a larger world of fresh experiences and new possibilities.
In fact, one of the reasons you’re reading this now is because Stuart pushed me. Before I’d ever run a training on my own, he asked me to go out in front of a group of people to lead a “trust fall” as part of his “Warrior’s Wisdom” course.
For those of you who haven’t done one before, a trust fall is where a group of people who don’t know each other very well have to catch one another as they fall backward blindfolded off a table, a ladder, or in our case an eight-foot-high tree stump. If the group learns to work together quickly, no one gets hurt and everybody learns about the power of trust. If people don’t learn to work together quickly, people do get hurt and everybody learns something else.
Totally terrified by my insecure thoughts about being placed in the role of both “teacher” and “coach” for the first time, I asked Stuart what I was supposed to do. He said, “It’s a trust fall—trust!”
To make a long story short, I trusted, they fell, and 20 years later I’m still working with individuals and standing up in front of groups, a testament to the catalyzing power of being willing to follow a trusted guide out over the edge of your world (something we’ll talk about further in Session Ten).
In my years of coaching and teaching since that day, I’ve learned a number of other exercises and experiments that will take you out to the edges of your world and invite you to step out over that edge—into uncharted waters filled with at least one mermaid for every dragon and at least one new rise for every fall. These experiments range from the gentle to the extreme—but remember, the only real obstacle to moving forward is a thought about what might happen if you do. . . .
To get started, I recommend you begin here:
For the next 30 days, make at least one
“unreasonable” request per day.
A request counts as “unreasonable” if you can’t think of any reason for the person to say “yes.” As you go through this process, you may be surprised by how reasonable many of your seemingly unreasonable requests turn out to be.
Over the Edge of the World
Here are some other ways to go over the edge of your world:
1. If you’re someone who is habitually argumentative, seek out someone you fundamentally disagree with and have a conversation where you completely agree with everything they say. If you’re generally more of a “go along to get along” type, find someone you like and get into an argument with them!
2. Go into work tomorrow dressed completely differently from the way you normally