The 4-Hour Body_ An Uncommon Guide to Ra - Timothy Ferriss [103]
Based on the premise that it is easier to achieve the proper angle of contact with the left hand, the man should sit to her right side on top of at least two pillows and straddle his bent left leg perpendicularly across her torso, foot flat on the opposite side. Add as many pillows as necessary to relieve any pressure from his left leg on her abdomen. Too many is better than too few. His right leg is straight or relaxed in butterfly position.
Despite the left-handed positioning, which is ideal, I’m right-handed and impatient with poor fine motor control. I had more consistent luck sitting on the woman’s left side and using my right hand. If you choose to do the same, it’s important to tilt your right wrist toward you slightly as if you were looking at a watch. This creates a better finger angle.
My preferred position as a right-hander
Since I had the most success with this right-handed position, and since most of the world is right-handed, all illustrations are from this position, man seated on the left side of the woman.
3. SET THE TIMER FOR 15 MINUTES, FIND THE UPPER-QUADRANT POINT OF
GREATEST SENSATION, AND STROKE.
Limit the session to exactly 15 minutes. I used a kitchen timer. This removes performance pressure and creates a safe start-and-end container for the woman. Look at it as you would a yoga routine or deep breathing sequence. It is an exercise in focused repetition, not a goal.
1. Clitoral hood; 2. clitoral glans (the point of contact); 3. urethral orifice; 4. vaginal opening (introitus); 5. labia minora; 6. perineum.
Finding the upper quadrant and anchoring (illustrated on the next page with the right hand):
1. Separate the labia
2. Retract the clitoral hood upward with the heel of the palm.
3. Anchor the clitoris with the right thumb by holding the hood back.
4. Put your left hand under her buttocks, two fingers under each cheek, with the thumb resting on (not in) the base of the entrance to the vagina (ring of introitus). This will act as an anchor and help the woman to relax.
5. Imagine you are looking directly at the clitoris from between her legs, with the top of the clitoris as 12 o’clock on a clock face. Find 1:00 P.M.—ideally a small indentation or pocket between the hood and her clitoris—with your right hand’s index finger and begin stroking using the lightest touch possible and only 1/16″ or so of movement. The tip of the finger is better than the pad, so cut your nails beforehand.
Nicole emphasizes the start: “If I can suggest one thing to the guys: take the time to find the spot. Once you find it, she won’t be able to take more than a very light touch, like brushing satin against her skin.”
Stroke like a metronome at a constant speed for periods of two to three minutes, but feel free to change speed between periods.
Elbow brace variation.
It is not uncommon for the man’s lower back to tire. Fidgeting screws up everything, so I began testing an alternative elbow-brace position.
Front angle of the elbow brace variation.
You’ll notice my left elbow is braced on my left shin. Since the angle no longer works for the introitus placement, I instead use my left hand to immobilize her right leg. Two women I practiced this alternate position with preferred it to the textbook version.
6. “Ground” at the end.
Once the 15 minutes have elapsed, “grounding” is performed to (ostensibly) ease the woman out of the experience. Though there are sophisticated options for this closing portion, novice males can simply apply strong pressure down on the pubic bone and up toward the woman’s head, using overlapping hands as indicated. Let her dictate the pressure. Most women, in my experience, find the strongest possible pressure the most pleasurable for ending a session.
I initially thought this closing portion was a waste of time. “Grounding”? It sounded like a bunch of New Age nonsense.
Now I believe that grounding is important not as some type of energetic witchcraft, but rather for closure.