The Contrast [15]
make me acquainted?-- Why, I was thinking then how I should contrive to pass this broken piece of silver--won't it buy a sugar- dram?
JESSAMY
What is that, the love-token from the deacon's daughter?--You come on bravely. But I must hasten to my master. Adieu, my dear friend.
JONATHAN
Stay, Mr. Jessamy--must I buss her when I am introduced to her?
JESSAMY
I told you, you must kiss her.
JONATHAN
Well, but must I buss her?
JESSAMY
Why, kiss and buss, and buss and kiss, is all one.
JONATHAN
Oh! my dear friend, though you have a profound knowledge of all, a pugnency of tribulation, you don't know everything. [Exit.
JESSAMY, alone.
Well, certainly I improve; my master could not have insinuated himself with more address into the heart of a man he despised. Now will this blundering dog sicken Jenny with his nauseous pawings, until she flies into my arms for very ease. How sweet will the contrast be between the blundering Jonathan and the courtly and accomplished Jessamy!
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
ACT III. SCENE I.
DIMPLE'S Room.
DIMPLE discovered at a Toilet, Reading.
"WOMEN have in general but one object, which is their beauty." Very true, my lord; positively very true. "Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her person." Extremely just, my lord; every day's delightful ex- perience confirms this. "If her face is so shocking that she must, in some degree, be conscious of it, her figure and air, she thinks, make ample amends for it." The sallow Miss Wan is a proof of this. Upon my telling the distasteful wretch, the other day, that her countenance spoke the pensive language of sentiment, and that Lady Wortley Montague declared that if the ladies were arrayed in the garb of innocence, the face would be the last part which would be admired, as Monsieur Milton expresses it; she grinn'd horribly, a ghastly smile. "If her figure is deformed, she thinks her face counterbalances it."
Enter JESSAMY with letters.
DIMPLE
Where got you these, Jessamy?
JESSAMY
Sir, the English packet is arrived.
DIMPLE opens and reads a letter enclosing notes.
"Sir, "I have drawn bills on you in favour of Messrs. Van Cash and Co. as per margin. I have taken up your note to Col. Piquet, and discharged your debts to my Lord Lurcher and Sir Harry Rook. I here- with enclose you copies of the bills, which I have no doubt will be immediately honoured. On failure, I shall empower some lawyer in your country to recover the amounts. "I am, Sir, "Your most humble servant, "JOHN HAZARD."
Now, did not my lord expressly say that it was un- becoming a well-bred man to be in a passion, I confess I should be ruffled. [Reads.] "There is no accident so unfortunate, which a wise man may not turn to his advantage; nor any accident so fortunate, which a fool will not turn to his disadvantage." True, my lord; but how advantage can be derived from this I can't see. Chesterfield himself, who made, however, the worst practice of the most excellent precepts, was never in so embarrassing a situation. I love the per- son of Charlotte, and it is necessary I should com- mand the fortune of Letitia. As to Maria!--I doubt not by my sang-froid behaviour I shall compel her to decline the match; but the blame must not fall upon me. A prudent man, as my lord says, should take all the credit of a good action to himself, and throw the discredit of a bad one upon others. I must break with Maria, marry Letitia, and as for Charlotte--why, Charlotte must be a companion to my wife.--Here, Jessamy!
Enter JESSAMY.
DIMPLE folds and seals two letters.
DIMPLE
Here, Jessamy, take this letter to my love. [Gives one.
JESSAMY
To which of your honour's loves?--Oh! [reading] to Miss Letitia, your honour's rich love.
DIMPLE
And this [delivers another] to Miss Charlotte Manly. See that you deliver them privately.
JESSAMY
Yes, your honour. [Going.
DIMPLE
Jessamy, who are
JESSAMY
What is that, the love-token from the deacon's daughter?--You come on bravely. But I must hasten to my master. Adieu, my dear friend.
JONATHAN
Stay, Mr. Jessamy--must I buss her when I am introduced to her?
JESSAMY
I told you, you must kiss her.
JONATHAN
Well, but must I buss her?
JESSAMY
Why, kiss and buss, and buss and kiss, is all one.
JONATHAN
Oh! my dear friend, though you have a profound knowledge of all, a pugnency of tribulation, you don't know everything. [Exit.
JESSAMY, alone.
Well, certainly I improve; my master could not have insinuated himself with more address into the heart of a man he despised. Now will this blundering dog sicken Jenny with his nauseous pawings, until she flies into my arms for very ease. How sweet will the contrast be between the blundering Jonathan and the courtly and accomplished Jessamy!
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
ACT III. SCENE I.
DIMPLE'S Room.
DIMPLE discovered at a Toilet, Reading.
"WOMEN have in general but one object, which is their beauty." Very true, my lord; positively very true. "Nature has hardly formed a woman ugly enough to be insensible to flattery upon her person." Extremely just, my lord; every day's delightful ex- perience confirms this. "If her face is so shocking that she must, in some degree, be conscious of it, her figure and air, she thinks, make ample amends for it." The sallow Miss Wan is a proof of this. Upon my telling the distasteful wretch, the other day, that her countenance spoke the pensive language of sentiment, and that Lady Wortley Montague declared that if the ladies were arrayed in the garb of innocence, the face would be the last part which would be admired, as Monsieur Milton expresses it; she grinn'd horribly, a ghastly smile. "If her figure is deformed, she thinks her face counterbalances it."
Enter JESSAMY with letters.
DIMPLE
Where got you these, Jessamy?
JESSAMY
Sir, the English packet is arrived.
DIMPLE opens and reads a letter enclosing notes.
"Sir, "I have drawn bills on you in favour of Messrs. Van Cash and Co. as per margin. I have taken up your note to Col. Piquet, and discharged your debts to my Lord Lurcher and Sir Harry Rook. I here- with enclose you copies of the bills, which I have no doubt will be immediately honoured. On failure, I shall empower some lawyer in your country to recover the amounts. "I am, Sir, "Your most humble servant, "JOHN HAZARD."
Now, did not my lord expressly say that it was un- becoming a well-bred man to be in a passion, I confess I should be ruffled. [Reads.] "There is no accident so unfortunate, which a wise man may not turn to his advantage; nor any accident so fortunate, which a fool will not turn to his disadvantage." True, my lord; but how advantage can be derived from this I can't see. Chesterfield himself, who made, however, the worst practice of the most excellent precepts, was never in so embarrassing a situation. I love the per- son of Charlotte, and it is necessary I should com- mand the fortune of Letitia. As to Maria!--I doubt not by my sang-froid behaviour I shall compel her to decline the match; but the blame must not fall upon me. A prudent man, as my lord says, should take all the credit of a good action to himself, and throw the discredit of a bad one upon others. I must break with Maria, marry Letitia, and as for Charlotte--why, Charlotte must be a companion to my wife.--Here, Jessamy!
Enter JESSAMY.
DIMPLE folds and seals two letters.
DIMPLE
Here, Jessamy, take this letter to my love. [Gives one.
JESSAMY
To which of your honour's loves?--Oh! [reading] to Miss Letitia, your honour's rich love.
DIMPLE
And this [delivers another] to Miss Charlotte Manly. See that you deliver them privately.
JESSAMY
Yes, your honour. [Going.
DIMPLE
Jessamy, who are