The Dark Side of Disney - Leonard Kinsey [26]
Pool Hopping:
Why bother paying $50 to get into Typhoon Lagoon when there are bunch of resorts full of kick-ass pools, lazy rivers, and water slides available for free? Each of the resorts has multiple pool areas, and each has one “themed” pool. It’s not really fair to say that the Deluxe resorts have more interesting or better themed pools than the Moderates or Values, because they’re all pretty cool. However, Stormalong Bay, the water area at The Yacht and Beach Club, definitely takes the cake with its sandy bottom, lazy river, and a slide that goes through the broken mast of a shipwrecked boat.
The lazy river at Stormalong Bay
The shipwreck slide at Stormalong Bay
Of course, “pool hopping”, as it’s known, is not technically allowed by Disney. You’re only allowed to do this if you’re a DVC member. However, the only place where they actively check your room key to see if you’re staying at the resort is Stormalong Bay. And to be honest, there are so many entrances to Stormalong Bay that it’s easy to bypass this “security”. For example, the simplest way to completely get around Stormalong Bay’s key-checkers is to start your visit with a ride on the slide! Yep, just climb the stairs to the slide, go down the slide, and BAM, you’re in like Flynn. They do give you a wristband to wear, but just tell them it was pulling on your arm hair so you took it off. Alternately, you can buy a pack of multicolored Tyvek armbands at Party City, look to see what color they’re giving out that day, and slap one on!
Path from the Epcot area to the shipwreck slide, down into Stormalong Bay
I’ve never had anyone check for a room key at any of the other pools, although technically it’s possible, I suppose. But if you tell them that you’re there for a meal and decided to swim beforehand, I seriously doubt they’re going to kick you out, because they want your money!
Probably the best area to pool hop if you don’t have a car, aside from the Stormalong Bay/Boardwalk combo (creepy clown slide at The Boardwalk!) is the Monorail Resort loop, where you have quick access to at least one awesome pool (the volcano @ The Polynesian) and two pretty decent although less exciting pools at The Contemporary and The Grand Floridian, all within minutes of each other via the monorail Resort loop. Get bored at one, and just hop on the monorail and go to another one!
However, if you have a rental car and don’t mind using it, you could easily spend two days visiting all of the resort pools (and their associated waterside bars!) and having a helluva time going down all of the different slides, sitting in the hot tubs, and just generally enjoying life!
Chapter 2
Sex, Drugs, and Rock N’ Roll
When you think of Walt Disney World, the first things that come to mind probably aren’t sex, drugs and rock and roll. In fact, Disney has gone to great lengths to remove any traces of the party lifestyle from the parks, be it by shutting down Pleasure Island, dress code restrictions for cast members (including limitations on makeup and jewelry), a ban of alcohol sales in The Magic Kingdom, and just generally catering towards G/PG kid-oriented entertainment. But if you know where to look, you just might find, you’ll get what you need….
SEX
Given that sex is one of those basic human needs, like food, shelter, and beer, if you’re an adult vacationing at WDW, chances are at some point you’re either going to have sex with your partner, or if you’re single, you’ll be looking for someone to hook up with. And we’re not talking about romance here; numerous books have already covered Disney romance in depth. No, we’re talking about good old-fashioned bumping and grinding