The Dark Side of Disney - Leonard Kinsey [35]
7. Let cool and eat!
This my favorite method. Buy a pouch of hand-rolled tobacco along with some filtered cigarette blanks and a blank filler (all of this should cost less than $10 at a tobacconist). Fill a bunch of blanks with an equal mixture of tobacco and finely ground weed. These end up looking just like regular cigarettes, and even better the tobacco masks the smell of the marijuana. So you can actually use these in the designated smoking areas at the parks and nobody will be the wiser!
Final tip: Control your shit! If you get totally wasted and run around like an idiot you’re going to attract attention and will likely get caught, searched for paraphernalia (yet another misdemeanor charge), and kicked out of the parks. Don’t be like these guys: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lu72WdTg2U
Top 5 Best and Worse Places to Get High:
I realize this is subjective, but there are just some experiences that are going to be awesome high, and others that are going to totally suck ass.
BEST:
1. World Showcase at Epcot. When you’ve got the munchies there is no better place to be on this earth than at World Showcase. Sweet, sour, salty, chewy, crunchy, whatever, it’s seemingly been placed here by the God of Stoners to appeal to the culinary desires of even the pickiest potheads. Plus, while you’re eating you can totally chill and watch the waves on the lake or do the hippie twirling dance to a huge variety of music, from The Beatles to Japanese drums. I personally recommend the Biergarten restaurant in Germany – a lot of different types of fatty food combined with a show that will blow your fucking mind if you’re stoned. There’s a big horn duet, and two guys playing dueling bells, and lots of yelling. Awesomeness!
2. Soarin’ at Epcot. Even when you’re not stoned it feels like you’re flying. Strike a fucking Superman pose and be a superhero for a few minutes or sit back and chill as the wind blows through your hair and scents of oranges, pines, and salt water waft through the air. A full-body sensory experience that is transcendent when high.
3. Castaway Creek lazy river at Typhoon Lagoon. Totally chill and relaxing. You lay in a tube, stare up at the sky, and just… float.
4. The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh at The Magic Kingdom. You fly around watching Pooh desperately trying to get his honey fix. With the exception of Christopher Robin, who is a total prude, every character on this ride is stoned out of their gourds. There are blacklights and bright colors, a smooth, non-bumpy track, and lots of random shit going on. When Pooh finally gets his honey you will cry because you finally understand just what this poor little fucker goes through every day.
5. MuppetVision 3D at Disney Hollywood Studios. Henson was a stoner, and all of his creations, except maybe for Kermit and Piggy are on something. If you’ve never appreciated the Muppets, just watch this show high and be prepared to laugh your ass off the entire time.
Honorable Mention: Listen to the Land in Epcot. It’s not a great ride, but the hydroponic setup should be inspiring for any pothead.
WORST:
1. Space Mountain at The Magic Kingdom. Just don’t do it. You will freak the fuck out. You can’t see shit, you’re being thrown around, there are loud noises, and people are screaming. Talk about a total buzz kill!
2. Stitch’s Great Escape at The Magic Kingdom. This is like the anti-Soarin’. They physically restrain you and then stick you in the dark while loud noises crash all around you and a horrible fart smell blasts out and then lingers for the rest of the show. Claustrophobia and paranoia ensues. Truly awful.
3. Dinosaur at Animal Kingdom. Fucking strobe lights, huge dinosaurs randomly jumping out at you and trying to eat your face, and a really bumpy and jerky ride makes for a bad trip. Plus, Phylicia Rashad is in there being a bitch, and you know she’s putting on that Claire Huxtable face and judging you for being stoned just like she would with Theo.
4. Twilight Zone Tower of Terror at Disney Hollywood