The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [14]
Hever (HEE-vah) n.
The panic caused by half hearing a public-address system.
Hewish (HEW-ish) adj.
In a mood to swipe at vegetation with a stick.
Hextable (HEKS-tah-bul) n.
The record you find in someone else’s collection which instantly tells you you could never go out with them.
Hibbing (HIB-bing) n.
The marks left on the outside breast pocket of a storekeeper’s overall where he put away his pen and missed.
Hickling (HIK-ling) ptcpl. vb.
The practice of infuriating theatergoers by not only arriving late to a center-row seat, but also loudly apologizing to and patting each member of the audience in turn.
Hidcote Bartram (HID-koht BAR-tram) n.
To be caught in a hidcote bartram is to say a series of protracted and final good-byes to a group of people and then realize that you’ve left your hat behind.
High Limerigg (high LIME-rig) n.
The topmost tread of a staircase which disappears when you’re climbing the stairs in darkness.
High Offley (high OFF-lee) n.
Goosnargh (q.v.) three weeks later.
Hobarris (hoh-BA-ris) n.
(Medical) A sperm which carries a high risk of becoming a bank manager.
Hobbs Cross (HOBZ CROS) n.
The awkward leaping maneuver a girl has to go through in bed in order to make him sleep on the wet patch.
Hoddlesdon (HOD-ulz-dn) n.
An “injured” footballer’s limp back into the game which draws applause but doesn’t fool anybody.
Hodnet (HOD-net) n.
The wooden safety platform supported by scaffolding around a building under construction from which the builders (at almost no personal risk) can drop pieces of cement on passersby.
Hoff (hoff) vb.
To deny indignantly something which is palpably true.
Hoggeston (HOG-us-tn) n.
The action of overshaking a pair of dice in a cup in the mistaken belief that this will affect the eventual outcome in your favor and not irritate everyone else.
Hordle (HAW-dul) vb.
To dissemble in a fruity manner, like William F. Buckley.
Horton-cum-Studley (HAWT’n kum STUD-lee) n.
The combination of little helpful grunts, nodding movements of the head, considerate smiles, upward frowns and serious pauses that a group of people join in making in trying to elicit the next pronouncement of somebody with a terrible stutter.
Hosmer (HOZ-mah) vb.
(Of a TV newsreader) To continue to stare impassively into the camera when it should have already switched to the sports report.
Hotagen (HOT-a-jen) n.
The aggressiveness with which a shop assistant sells you any piece of high technology which they don’t understand themselves.
Hove (hohv) adj.
Descriptive of the expression seen on the face of one person in the presence of another who clearly isn’t going to stop talking for a very long time.
Huby (HEW-bee) n.
A half erection large enough to be a publicly embarrassing bulge in the trousers, but not large enough to be of any use to anybody.
Hucknall (HUK-nul) vb.
To crouch upward, as in the movement a seated person’s feet and legs make to allow a vacuum cleaner to pass beneath them.
Hugglescote (HUG-gulz-koht) n.
Someone who excitedly opens a letter that says, “You may already have won £10,000” on the outside.
Hull (hul) adj.
Descriptive of the smell of a weekend cottage.
Humber (HUM-bah) vb.
To move like the cheeks of a very fat person as his car goes over a cattle grid.
Humby (HUM-bee) n.
An erection that won’t go down when a gentleman has to go to the lavatory in the middle of dallying with a lady.
Huna (HEW-nah) n.
The result of coming to the wrong decision.
Hunsingore (HUN-sin-gaw) n.
Medieval ceremonial brass horn with which the successful execution of an araglin (q.v.) is trumpeted from the castle battlements.
Hutlerburn (HUT-ler-bern) n.
(Archaic) A burn sustained as a result of the behavior of a clumsy hutler. (The precise duties of hutlers are now lost in the mists of history.)
Huttoft (HUT-oft) n.
The fibrous algae which grows in the dark, moist environment of trouser cuffs.
Hynish (HIGH-nish) adj.
Descriptive of the state of mind in which you might as well give up doing whatever it is you’re trying