The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [29]
Vollenhove (VOL-un-hohv) n.
One who indicates from thirty yards across a crowded street that he has spotted you, wishes to speak with you and that you are required to remain rooted to the spot waiting for him.
W
Waccamaw (WAK-a-mawr) n.
An exotic Brazilian bird which makes its home in the audiences of BBC Light Entertainment Radio shows and screeches when it hears the word “bottom.”
Warleggan (waw-LEG-un) n.
(Archaic) One who does not approve of araglins (q.v.).
Wartnaby (WAWT-nay-bee) n.
Something you only discover about somebody the first time they take their clothes off in front of you.
Wasp Green (WASP GREEN) adj.
The paint in the catalog that is quite obviously yellow.
Watendlath (WAT-end-lath) n.
The bit of wood a cabbie removes so as to open his sliding window and give you the full benefit of his opinions.
Wawne (WAWN) n.
A badly supressed yawn.
Wedderlairs (WED-el-ayrz) pl. n.
The large patches of sweat on the back of a hot man’s T-shirt.
Wembley (WEM-blee) n.
The hideous moment of confirmation that the disaster presaged in the ely (q.v.) has actually struck.
Wendens Ambo (WEN-denz AM-boh) n.
(Veterinary term) The operation to trace an object swallowed by a cow through all its seven stomachs. Hence, also, an expedition to find the new terminal at O’Hare Airport.
West Wittering (west WIT-er-ing) ptcpl. vb.
The uncontrollable twitching that breaks out when you’re trying to get away from the most boring person at a party.
Wetwang (WET-wang) n.
A moist penis.
Whaplode Drove (WHAP-lohd DROVE) n.
A homicidal golf stroke.
Whasset (WHAS-it) n.
A business card in your wallet belonging to someone whom you have no recollection of meeting.
Whissendine (WHIS-en-dine) n.
A noise that occurs (often at night) in a strange house, which is too short and too irregular for you ever to be able to find out what it is and where it comes from.
Widdicombe (WID-i-kum) n.
The sort of person who impersonates telephones.
Wigan (WIG-un) n.
If, when talking to someone you know has only one leg, you’re trying to treat them perfectly casually and normally, but find to your horror that your conversation is liberally studded with references to (a) Long John Silver, (b) Hopalong Cassidy, (c) the Hokey Pokey, (d) “putting your foot in it,” (e) “the last leg of the UEFA competion,” you are said to have committed a wigan.
Wike (WIGHK) vb.
To rip a Band-Aid off your skin as fast as possible in the hope that it will (a) show how brave you are and (b) not hurt.
Willimantic (WIL-i-MAN-tik) adj.
Of a person whose heart is in the wrong place (i.e., between his legs).
Wimbledon (WIM-bul-dun) n.
The last drop that, no matter how much you shake it, always goes down your trouser leg.
Winkley (WINK-lee) n.
A lost object which turns up immediately after you’ve gone and bought a replacement for it.
Winster (WIN-ster) n.
One who is mistakenly under the impression that he is charming.
Winston-Salem (WIN-ston SAY-lem) n.
A person in a restaurant who suggests to his companions that they should split the cost of the meal equally, and then orders two packs of cigarettes on the bill.
Wivenhoe (WIV-en-hoh) n.
The cry of alacrity with which a sprightly eighty-year-old breaks the ice on the lake when going for a swim on Christmas Eve.
Woking (WOH-king) ptcpl. vb.
Standing in the kitchen wondering what you came in here for.
Wollondilly (WOL-un-DIL-ee) n.
A woman who can’t get her lipstick on straight.
Worgret (WUR-gret) n.
A kind of poltergeist that specializes in stealing new road atlases from your car.
Worksop (WURK-sop) n.
A person who never actually gets around to doing anything because he spends all his time writing out lists headed “Things to Do (Urgent).”
Wormelow Tump (WUR-ma-loh TUMP) n.
Any seventeen-year-old who doesn’t know about anything at all in the world other than bicycle gears.
Wrabness (RAB-nes) n.
The feeling after having tried to dry oneself with a damp towel.
Writtle (RIT-ul) vb.
Of a steel ball,