The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [7]
Corriedoo (kor-ee-DOO) n.
The crucial moment of false recognition in a long passageway encounter. Though both people are perfectly well aware that the other is approaching, they must eventually pretend sudden recognition. They now look up with a glassy smile, as if having spotted each other for the first time (and are particularly delighted to have done so), shouting out, “Haaaaalllllloooo!” as if to say “Good grief!! You!! Here!! Of all people! Well, I never. Coo. Stap me vitals,” etc.
Corriemoillie (kor-ee-MOY-lee) n.
The dreadful sinking sensation in a long passageway encounter when both protagonists immediately realize they have plumped for the corriedoo (q.v.) much too early, as they are still a good thirty yards apart. They were embarrassed by the pretense of corriecravie (q.v.) and decided to make use of the corriedoo because they felt silly. This was a mistake, as corrievorrie (q.v.) will make them seem far sillier.
Corriemuchloch (kor-ee-MUK-lok) n.
The kind of person who can make a complete mess of a simple job like walking down a corridor.
Corrievorrie (kor-ee-VOH-ree) n.
Corridor etiquette demands that once a corriedoo (q.v.) has been declared, corrievorrie must be employed. Both protagonists must now embellish their approach with an embarrassing combination of waving, grinning, making idiot faces, doing pirate impressions and waggling the head from side to side while holding the other person’s eyes as the smile drips off their face, until, with great relief, they pass each other.
Corstorphine (kaw-STAWF-een) n.
A very short peremptory service held in monasteries prior to teatime to offer thanks for the benediction of digestive biscuits.
Cotterstock (KOT-er-stok) n.
A piece of wood used to stir paint and thereafter stored uselessly in a shed in perpetuity.
Cowcaddens (KOW-kad-enz) pl. n.
A set of twelve cowcaddens makes an ideal and completely baffling wedding gift.
Craboon (kra-BOON) vb.
To shout boisterously from a cliff.
Crail (krayl) n.
Crail is a common kind of rock or gravel found widely across the British Isles. Each individual stone (due to an as-yet-undiscovered gravitational property) is charged with “negative buoyancy.” This means that no matter how much crail you remove from the garden, more of it will rise to the surface. Crail is much employed by the Royal Navy for making the paperweights and ashtrays used in submarines.
Cranleigh (KRAN-lee) n.
A mood of irrational irritation with everyone and everything.
Cresbard (KRESS-bard) n.
The light working lunch which Ann Hathaway used to make for her husband.
Crieff (kreef) vb.
To agree sycophantically with a taxi driver.
Cromarty (KROM-ar-tee) n.
The brittle sludge which clings to the top of ketchup bottles and plastic tomatoes in nasty diners.
D
Dalderby (DAWL-dur-bee) n.
A letter to the editor made meaningless because it refers to a previous letter you didn’t read (see A. H. Hedgehope, July 3rd).
Dalfibble (DAL-fib-ul) vb.
To spend large periods of your life looking for car keys.
Dallow (DAL-loh) adj.
Perfectly content to stare at something for no particular reason.
Dalmilling (dal-MILL-ing) ptcpl. vb.
Continually making small talk to someone who is trying to read a book.
Dalrymple (DAL-rim-pul) n.
Dalrymples are the things you pay extra for on pieces of handmad craftwork—the rough edges, the paint smudges and the holes in the glazing.
Damnaglaur (DAM-na-GLAW) n.
A certain facial expression of which actors are required to demonstrate their mastery before they are allowed to play Macbeth.
Darenth (DA-renth) n.
Measure = 0.0000176 mg. Defined as that amount of margarine capable of covering one hundred slices of bread to a depth of one molecule. This is the legal maximum allowed in sandwich bars in Greater London.
Darvel (DAHR-vil) vb
To hold out hope for a better invitation until the last possible moment.
Dattuck (DAT-uk) n.
One who performs drum solos on his