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The Elbow Grasp

The Upper-Arm Grip

The Shoulder Hold

Second, the initiator's left hand is an invasion of the receiver's personal space. In general, the Wrist Hold and the Elbow Grasp are acceptable only where one person feels close to the other and in these cases the initiator's left hand enters only the outer edge of the receiver's personal space. The Shoulder Hold and Upper-Arm Grip show close intimacy and may even result in a hug (“personal space” will be covered more in Chapter 9). Unless the intimate feelings are mutual or the initiator doesn't have a good reason for using a double-handed handshake, the receiver will probably be suspicious and mistrust the initiator's intentions. In summary, if you don't have some sort of personal bond with the other person, don't use any Double-Hander. And if the person who gives you one doesn't have a personal connection with you, look for their hidden agenda.

Unless you and the other person have a personal or emotional

bond, only use a single-handed handshake.

It's common to see politicians greeting voters using double-handed handshakes and businesspeople doing it to clients without realizing it can be political and business suicide, putting people off.

The Blair-Bush Power Game

During the Iraq conflict in 2003, George W. Bush and Tony Blair presented to the media the image of a powerful alliance that was “united and equal,” but close analysis of photographs shows strong power plays by George Bush.

Outdressed and outgunned: George Bush

putting the Upper Hand on Tony Blair

In the above picture, Bush leans in to deliver the Upper Hand from the left side of the photograph. Bush is dressed like an Armed Forces Commander-in-Chief and Blair is dressed like an English schoolboy meeting the headmaster. Bush has his feet firmly planted together on the ground and is using a Back Hold to control Blair. Bush regularly jockeys for the position left-of-picture, allowing him to be perceived as dominant and to look as if he were calling the shots.

The Solution

To avoid losing power if you inadvertently find yourself on the right-of-picture, extend your arm early as you approach from a distance, as this forces the other person to face you straight on to shake hands. This lets you keep the handshake on an equal basis. If photos or video are being shot, always approach the other person so you occupy the left-of-picture position. At worst, use a Double-Hander to give yourself an equal footing.

The World's Eight Worst Handshakes

Here are eight of the world's most annoying and disliked handshakes and their variations. Avoid them at all times:

1. The Wet Fish

Credibility Rating: 1/10.

Few greetings are as uninviting as the Wet Fish, particularly when the hand is cold or clammy. The soft, flaccid feel of the Wet Fish makes it universally unpopular and most people associate it with weak character, mainly because of the ease with which the palm can be turned over. It is read by the receiver as a lack of commitment to the encounter, but there may be cultural or other implications—in some Asian and African cultures a limp handshake is the norm and a firm handshake can be seen as offensive. Also, one in twenty people suffer from a condition called hyperhydrosis, which is a genetic condition that causes chronic sweating. It's wise to carry tissues or a handkerchief for mop-up strategies before any bout of handshaking.

The Wet Fish

The palms have more sweat glands than any other part of the body, which is why sweaty palms become so obvious. Surprisingly, many people who use the Wet Fish are unaware they do it so it's wise to ask your friends to comment on your handshake style before deciding what you'll use in future meetings.

2. The Vise

Credibility Rating: 4/10.

This quietly persuasive style is a favorite of men in business and reveals a desire to dominate and assume early control of the relationship or put people in their place. The palm is presented in the down position with one sharp downward pump followed by two or three vigorous