The Dog Behavior Answer Book - Arden Moore [90]
Inheriting a Pampered Pooch
Q My elderly grandmother died recently, leaving behind a four-year-old papillon named Sugar, who was a wonderful companion to her. My grandmother doted on this dog, serving her food on china plates, dressing her up with ribbons, and letting her sit in her own dining room chair. Grandma was also practical and discussed with me in advance how to care for Sugar after she died. I love Sugar, but it is clear that she misses my grandmother a lot. What can I do to help Sugar understand that she now has a new loving home?
A Your grandmother showed foresight in making sure that her sweet dog had a good home after she died. You will never behave the same way that she did with Sugar, but you can love her in your own fashion.
Our pets can’t tell us in words how they feel when a beloved person leaves them, but they do display signs of mourning. Some dogs show amazing dedication to their deceased owners, so be aware that Sugar may show signs of stress and anxiety for some time as she adjusts to her new life with you. Sugar may urinate in your house when you’re not around, not eat much, excessively lick her paws, or go overboard to greet you each time you come home. These behaviors can last days or weeks. Please consult your veterinarian concerning behavioral issues that affect your dog’s health, especially lack of appetite.
BREED BYTE
Papillon is the French word for “butterfly.” This silky-coated toy breed is named for its large ears that look like butterfly wings.
Help Sugar adjust to your home by letting her sleep in your bedroom at night. Dogs are den creatures and this will give her some comfort and feeling of security. Offer her healthy outlets by walking her daily, engaging her in games like fetch, and keeping the television or radio on when you’re not at home to provide some welcome human noise. Invite some dog-friendly guests over to dote on Sugar and improve her mood.
You cannot replace your grandmother in the eyes of Sugar, but you do have a wonderful opportunity to form a new friendship with her and to provide her with a loving and stable home that honors your grandmother’s memory.
PAW PRINTS
One of the best stories to illustrate the devotion of dogs is that of a terrier named Bobby whose owner died in Edinburgh, Scotland in the mid-1800s. Bobby attended the graveside service and then lay on his owner’s grave every night for the next 14 years until his own death. Members of the town were so moved by this canine devotion that they erected a statue and water fountain in Bobby’s memory that stands to this day.
How Do We Go On?
Q Our 10-year-old daughter Kelly has never known a day without Jelly, our tri-colored Australian shepherd, in her life. Jelly greeted Kelly with a friendly tail wag the day we brought her home from the hospital and kept a close eye on her throughout her toddler days, even keeping her away from the pool when she ventured too close. Sadly, Jelly developed a rapid form of cancer, and we made a family decision to euthanize her to spare her any more pain. We are all devastated by the loss of Jelly, especially Kelly. How can we help our daughter — and ourselves — cope?
A Over the past two decades, we have redefined our notion of family to include pets. For many couples, a dog or a cat often precedes the birth or adoption of a child. In essence, that pet becomes an older sibling to their child. Children who grow up with loving pets are fortunate to have wonderful memories that won’t disappear. I still fondly remember my first dog, Nicky, even though I was just six when he died.
Grieving for a pet is distinct from other forms of mourning. There are no traditional ceremonies or social rituals for honoring a loyal dog or sweet cat. But a pet’s presence punctuates our daily lives, and the loss can be keenly felt. Your family should feel free to grieve openly and embrace the special connection you had with Jelly. Recognize that you need to grieve before you can truly heal. Sudden crying spells, feelings of depression, and