The Everything Kids' Giant Book of Jokes, Riddles, and Brain Teasers - Michael Dahl [8]
Upton now it's been pretty quiet around here.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you, do you love me?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
LaToya.
LaToya who?
LaToya store's open, let's go shopping!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hutch.
Hutch who?
Gesundheit!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dude.
Dude who?
Dude-doo is all over my front yard. Will you please watch your puppy!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Champ.
Champ who?
Champoo the dog, he's got fleas!
Jokin' Around
Three Blind Mice
Look at the dice below:
Challenge your friends to take three dice, place one on a table or napkin, and balance the other two on top, side by side. First, show them how it's done. Your friends will not be able to reproduce the trick! No matter how hard they try, their top two dice will always fall off the bottom one.
How did you do it?
Spit. (No, not now!) That's the secret of the trick: spit. During the setup of the trick, while no one is paying attention to your hands, lick one of your fingertips. Then touch one of the die faces. A tiny amount of saliva will hold the two dice together, especially if you hold the dice tightly together for a second or two.
Tip: It's important to place the top two dice with the 2 and the 4 showing. Why? Because then the facing sides become the 1s on each die. The faces with 1s provide more surface area to hold your secret saliva.
When you hand the dice to your opponent, wipe off the tell-tale “glue” without drawing attention. Use your hands to rub off the spit or push the dice across the tablecloth or napkin.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I stopped saying banana?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Edith.
Edith who?
Edith thick joothy hamburger for thupper.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're very welcome.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Toodle.
Toodle who?
Ta-ta!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Hope.
Hope who?
Hopen the door and let me in!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donnelly.
Donnelly who?
Donnelly've me out here in the dark!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn't know you could yodel.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Chester.
Chester who?
Chester little kid.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Aubrey.
Aubrey who?
Aubrey quiet!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Skid.
Skid who?
Forget it! I'm staying right here.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Juan.
Juan who?
Juan to buy some candy for the school band?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theophilus.
Theophilus who?
The awfullest storm I've ever seen out here!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ash.
Ash who?
Ash sure could use some help out in the garden.
Picto-Laugh #2
A pictograph is a very simple drawing of something funny. Can you guess what this little picto-laugh is showing? HINT: Think about something slow on something fast!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Alex.
Alex who?
Alex some more soda pop, please.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pete.
Pete who?
Pizza's here!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Giovanni.
Giovanni who?
Giovanni extra topping on that?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Wanda.
Wanda who?
Wanda be a millionaire?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Yah.
Yah who?
I didn't know you were a cowboy.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Matthew.
Matthew who?
Matthew a thilly queth-tion?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Isabelle.
Isabelle who?
Isabelle working, or should I just keep knocking?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Oswald.
Oswald who?
Oswald my bubble gum!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to step outside?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
I'm fine, thanks, how are you?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan idea you know who this is.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tasha.
Tasha who?
Tasha soccer ball out and let's play!
Knock knock. Who's there?
Dewey. Dewey who?
Dewey have to listen to any more knock knock jokes?
JURASSIC