The New Eve - Lewis Robert [68]
The husband is charged by God to be the head of his wife (Eph. 5:23).
The wife is charged by God to be the helper of her husband (Gen. 2:18).
The husband is to love his wife in ways that meet her deepest needs: giving her security, making her feel highly valued and significant, giving her conversational companionship, and being emotionally responsive to her (1 Pet. 3:7).
The wife is to love her husband in ways that meet his deepest needs: giving him admiration and respect, providing him personal support, joining him as his recreational companion, and being physically responsive to him (Eph. 5:33).
Children are to be valued as gifts from God requiring time, sacrifice, personal attention, and training (Ps. 127:3; Prov. 22:6; Deut. 6:6–7).
Children are to be raised to embrace a vision of changing the world and advancing God's kingdom with their unique gifts (Ps. 127:4–5; 1 Pet. 4:10; Gen. 1:28).
The Holy Spirit is the conscience and the power that makes this kind of marriage possible (John 14:25–26; 16:8–15).
This is the biblical outline. Today, however, parts of it have become controversial among some Christians, especially the marriage roles of helper and head. Many modern marriages no longer embrace these biblical terms and therefore refuse to use them in their wedding ceremonies. In these cases Scripture is used highly selectively, omitting anything that might appear sexist. Most couples today are launched into their marriages on vague generalities of love rather than with specific biblical responsibilities. The only clear mandate is that the husband and the wife must be viewed as the same.
The biblical marriage, however, is a radically different construct. It's true that Scripture recognizes first and foremost that men and women are created as spiritual equals before God. Both equally share God's divine imprint and image (Gen. 1:27). As a couple, both husband and wife are to live together as coheirs, sharing equal honor (1 Pet. 3:7). But as male and female, they also have their differences. In marriage their functional roles are gender-specific.
Head
The Bible declares the husband to be the head of a marriage. This is not a title conferred on the man as a result of sin and the fall, as some have suggested. This is part of God's original design for marriage from the beginning.
In Genesis 2 (pre-fall), God created the man first. From a biblical standpoint this is not accidental but highly instructive. First implies leader. Thus, by creating the man first, God sent a clear message about social positioning between a man and a woman in a marriage relationship. Had God wanted the marital roles to be the same, He would have made the man and the woman at the same time. But He didn't … by design.
It's the same social statement I make at the end of weddings I perform when I pronounce the couple husband and wife. After doing so, I have them turn and face the audience. At which point I present them as “Mr. and Mrs. ___________,” always using the husband's name. Why the husband's name? The reason goes all the way back to the beginning of time, when God made the same statement by creating Adam first. In both of these symbolic acts, the man is recognized as heading this new relationship. Today, however, you have no doubt noticed more and more couples choosing to be recognized by their names being hyphenated together. This too makes a strong social statement. It says that no one heads this marriage.
Back in Genesis, Adam's headship was also seen in the tragic events of chapter 3 when both he and Eve plunged the world into spiritual darkness. But notice it was Adam, not Eve, whom God called to account for this rebellion. He was the one God held responsible for it. Indeed, the whole debacle was laid at Adam's feet. The New Testament states it this way: “Through one man sin entered into the world” (Rom. 5:12). This statement makes sense only if God gave Adam a unique leadership role with his wife, a role the New Testament openly recognizes when it calls a husband the “head of the wife