The School For Scandal [21]
your
Peerless Beauties I suppose--has dropped in by chance?
CHARLES. No--Faith--to tell you the Truth 'tis a Jew and a Broker
who are come by appointment.
CARELESS. O dam it let's have the Jew in.
FIRST GENTLEMAN. Aye and the Broker too by all means----
SECOND GENTLEMAN. Yes yes the Jew and the Broker.
CHARLES. Egad with all my Heart--Trip--bid the Gentlemen walk in--
tho' there's one of them a Stranger I can tell you----
TRIP. What Sir--would you chuse Mr. Premium to come up with----
FIRST GENTLEMAN. Yes--yes Mr. Premium certainly.
CARELESS. To be sure--Mr. Premium--by all means Charles,
let us give them some generous Burgundy, and perhaps they'll
grow conscientious----
CHARLES. O, Hang 'em--no--wine does but draw forth a man's natural
qualities; and to make them drink would only be to whet their Knavery.
Enter TRIP, SIR OLIVER, and MOSES
CHARLES. So--honest Moses--walk in--walk in pray Mr. Premium--
that's the Gentleman's name isn't it Moses.
MOSES. Yes Sir.
CHARLES. Set chairs--Trim.--Sit down, Mr Premium.--Glasses Trim.--
sit down Moses.--Come, Mr. Premium I'll give you a sentiment--
Here's Success to Usury--Moses fill the Gentleman a bumper.
MOSES. Success to Usury!
CARELESS. Right Moses--Usury is Prudence and industry and deserves
to succeed----
SIR OLIVER. Then Here is--all the success it deserves!
[Drinks.]
CHARLES. Mr. Premium you and I are but strangers yet--but I hope
we shall be better acquainted by and bye----
SIR OLIVER. Yes Sir hope we shall--more intimately perhaps than
you'll wish. [Aside.<5>]
CARELESS. No, no, that won't do! Mr. Premium, you have demurred
at the toast, and must drink it in a pint bumper.
FIRST GENTLEMAN. A pint bumper, at least.
MOSES. Oh, pray, sir, consider--Mr. Premium's a gentleman.
CARELESS. And therefore loves good wine.
SECOND GENTLEMAN. Give Moses a quart glass--this is mutiny,
and a high contempt for the chair.
CARELESS. Here, now for't! I'll see justice done, to the last
drop of my bottle.
SIR OLIVER. Nay, pray, gentlemen--I did not expect this usage.
CHARLES. No, hang it, you shan't; Mr. Premium's a stranger.
SIR OLIVER. Odd! I wish I was well out of their company. [Aside.]
CARELESS. Plague on 'em then! if they won't drink, we'll not sit down
with them. Come, Harry, the dice are in the next room.--Charles,
you'll join us when you have finished your business with the
gentlemen?
CHARLES. I will! I will!--
[Exeunt SIR HARRY BUMPER and GENTLEMEN; CARELESS following.]
Careless.
CARELESS. [Returning.] Well!
CHARLES. Perhaps I may want you.
CARELESS. Oh, you know I am always ready: word, note, or bond,
'tis all the same to me.
[Exit.]
MOSES. Sir, this is Mr. Premium, a gentleman of the strictest
honour and secrecy; and always performs what he undertakes.
Mr. Premium, this is----
CHARLES. Psha! have done. Sir, my friend Moses is a very honest
fellow, but a little slow at expression: he'll be an hour giving
us our titles. Mr. Premium, the plain state of the matter is this:
I am an extravagant young fellow who wants to borrow money; you I
take to be a prudent old fellow, who have got money to lend. I am
blockhead enough to give fifty per cent. sooner than not have it!
and you, I presume, are rogue enough to take a hundred if you can
get it. Now, sir, you see we are acquainted at once, and may proceed
to business without further ceremony.
SIR OLIVER. Exceeding frank, upon my word. I see, sir, you are
not a man of many compliments.
CHARLES. Oh, no, sir! plain dealing in business I always think best.
SIR OLIVER. Sir, I like you the better for it. However, You are
mistaken in one thing; I have no money to lend, but I believe
I could procure some of a friend; but then he's an unconscionable dog.
Isn't he, Moses? And must sell stock to accommodate you. Mustn't he,
Moses!
MOSES. Yes, indeed! You know I always speak the truth, and scorn
to tell a lie!
CHARLES. Right.
Peerless Beauties I suppose--has dropped in by chance?
CHARLES. No--Faith--to tell you the Truth 'tis a Jew and a Broker
who are come by appointment.
CARELESS. O dam it let's have the Jew in.
FIRST GENTLEMAN. Aye and the Broker too by all means----
SECOND GENTLEMAN. Yes yes the Jew and the Broker.
CHARLES. Egad with all my Heart--Trip--bid the Gentlemen walk in--
tho' there's one of them a Stranger I can tell you----
TRIP. What Sir--would you chuse Mr. Premium to come up with----
FIRST GENTLEMAN. Yes--yes Mr. Premium certainly.
CARELESS. To be sure--Mr. Premium--by all means Charles,
let us give them some generous Burgundy, and perhaps they'll
grow conscientious----
CHARLES. O, Hang 'em--no--wine does but draw forth a man's natural
qualities; and to make them drink would only be to whet their Knavery.
Enter TRIP, SIR OLIVER, and MOSES
CHARLES. So--honest Moses--walk in--walk in pray Mr. Premium--
that's the Gentleman's name isn't it Moses.
MOSES. Yes Sir.
CHARLES. Set chairs--Trim.--Sit down, Mr Premium.--Glasses Trim.--
sit down Moses.--Come, Mr. Premium I'll give you a sentiment--
Here's Success to Usury--Moses fill the Gentleman a bumper.
MOSES. Success to Usury!
CARELESS. Right Moses--Usury is Prudence and industry and deserves
to succeed----
SIR OLIVER. Then Here is--all the success it deserves!
[Drinks.]
CHARLES. Mr. Premium you and I are but strangers yet--but I hope
we shall be better acquainted by and bye----
SIR OLIVER. Yes Sir hope we shall--more intimately perhaps than
you'll wish. [Aside.<5>]
CARELESS. No, no, that won't do! Mr. Premium, you have demurred
at the toast, and must drink it in a pint bumper.
FIRST GENTLEMAN. A pint bumper, at least.
MOSES. Oh, pray, sir, consider--Mr. Premium's a gentleman.
CARELESS. And therefore loves good wine.
SECOND GENTLEMAN. Give Moses a quart glass--this is mutiny,
and a high contempt for the chair.
CARELESS. Here, now for't! I'll see justice done, to the last
drop of my bottle.
SIR OLIVER. Nay, pray, gentlemen--I did not expect this usage.
CHARLES. No, hang it, you shan't; Mr. Premium's a stranger.
SIR OLIVER. Odd! I wish I was well out of their company. [Aside.]
CARELESS. Plague on 'em then! if they won't drink, we'll not sit down
with them. Come, Harry, the dice are in the next room.--Charles,
you'll join us when you have finished your business with the
gentlemen?
CHARLES. I will! I will!--
[Exeunt SIR HARRY BUMPER and GENTLEMEN; CARELESS following.]
Careless.
CARELESS. [Returning.] Well!
CHARLES. Perhaps I may want you.
CARELESS. Oh, you know I am always ready: word, note, or bond,
'tis all the same to me.
[Exit.]
MOSES. Sir, this is Mr. Premium, a gentleman of the strictest
honour and secrecy; and always performs what he undertakes.
Mr. Premium, this is----
CHARLES. Psha! have done. Sir, my friend Moses is a very honest
fellow, but a little slow at expression: he'll be an hour giving
us our titles. Mr. Premium, the plain state of the matter is this:
I am an extravagant young fellow who wants to borrow money; you I
take to be a prudent old fellow, who have got money to lend. I am
blockhead enough to give fifty per cent. sooner than not have it!
and you, I presume, are rogue enough to take a hundred if you can
get it. Now, sir, you see we are acquainted at once, and may proceed
to business without further ceremony.
SIR OLIVER. Exceeding frank, upon my word. I see, sir, you are
not a man of many compliments.
CHARLES. Oh, no, sir! plain dealing in business I always think best.
SIR OLIVER. Sir, I like you the better for it. However, You are
mistaken in one thing; I have no money to lend, but I believe
I could procure some of a friend; but then he's an unconscionable dog.
Isn't he, Moses? And must sell stock to accommodate you. Mustn't he,
Moses!
MOSES. Yes, indeed! You know I always speak the truth, and scorn
to tell a lie!
CHARLES. Right.