Under The Net - Iris Murdoch [113]
she was somehow imprisoned in it?' I asked. 'No, she was interested all right,' said Hugo, 'but wasn't really interested. And then she would introduce all that oriental junk, heaven knows where she got it from!' 'She got it from you!' I said with as much incisiveness as I could put into a whisper. 'That's nonsense!' said Hugo. 'She may have picked up some vague notions from me, but they didn't add up to that.' 'Why did you act in the mimes then if you thought the whole thing was bad?' I asked. 'You're right; I oughtn't to have,' said Hugo, 'but I did it to please her--and after all she did seem to be making something there.' 'Yes,' I said, 'she can create things.' 'You can both create things, I mean you and Anna,' said Hugo. 'Why do you say it like that?' I asked. 'It just strikes me,' said Hugo. 'I never made a thing in my life,' he added. 'Why did you destroy the theatre?' I asked. 'I didn't destroy it,' said Hugo. 'Anna did. She suddenly began to feel that it was all pointless, and she went away.' 'Poor Hugo!' I said. So then you gave it to NISP.' 'Well,' said Hugo, NISP were urgently wanting a place and I thought they might as well have it.' I felt sorry for Hugo. I pictured him standing alone in the theatre after the being had departed that had been its life. 'I didn't know you had any political views,' I said. 'You must have developed them since I last saw you.' 'I haven't exactly got any political views,' said Hugo, 'but I think Lefty's ideas are decent.' This was a very high term of praise in Hugo's vocabulary. 'Are you working with him?' I asked. 'Good heavens, no!' said Hugo. 'I wouldn't know how. I just give him money. That's all I can do.' 'I suppose Rockets are still going strong,' I said. 'I notice that the municipality of Paris is a customer of yours.' 'Oh, Rockets,' said Hugo. 'I've sold the factory, you know.' 'I didn't,' I said. 'Why?' 'Well, I don't really believe in private enterprise,' said Hugo, 'at least I think I don't. I'm so bad at understanding these things. And if one's in any doubt about a racket one ought to clear out, don't you think? Anyhow, while I had the factory I just couldn't help making money, and I don't want that. I want to travel light. Otherwise one can never understand anything.' 'I've always travelled light,' I said, 'and I don't see that it's ever helped me to understand anything. But what about films, or are they different?' 'I'm clearing out of that too,' said Hugo. 'There's a new Anglo-French show that's going to take over Bounty Belfounder, and good luck to them.' 'I see,' I said. I felt moved. 'But you'll still be a rich man, Hugo,' I added. 'I suppose so,' said Hugo. 'I'm reluctant to think about it. I expect I'll get rid of the money somehow. I'll give a lot to Lefty. You can have some too, if you like.' 'You're a strange man, Hugo,' I said. 'Why this sudden urge to strip yourself?' 'It's not sudden,' said Hugo. 'It's just that I've been cowardly and muddled. I don't suppose I should have made up my mind to do anything even now if it hadn't been that my life had got into such a ghastly mess that even I can't overlook it.' I thought of Anna. 'You've been very unhappy?' 'That, of course,' said Hugo. 'I've been nearly demented. But that was no excuse for behaving so badly. By the way, I'm sorry I cut you off that day on the phone when I rang up Welbeck Street. I was so taken aback when I heard your voice, it made me feel so ashamed of myself that I rang off.' I couldn't understand this. ' What were you so ashamed about?' I asked. 'Oh, well,' said Hugo, 'things I'd been doing, and things I intended to do. You think far too well of me, Jake. You're a sentimentalist.' 'Sssh!' I said to him sharply, and we both fell silent. There was a sound of feet in the corridor. I realized with a shock where I was. The soft sound of the footfalls drew nearer. Perhaps our voices had been heard, as in the excitement of the discussion they grew louder. I moved quietly up against the edge of the bed, to make sure that I was invisible from the door. Perhaps it was simply the Night Sister on her