Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [11]
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Vixen Tip
Grab your makeup compact, squat butt-naked on the floor, and take a look at your labia. Do you have porn pussy? Seriously…take a look. You need to know these things.
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Additionally, there’s the possibility of gaining a reputation that can follow you your entire life. This doesn’t mean just among men, but among women. No one wants to be the person in the room that people fall into hushed whispers about. It doesn’t feel good. And yes, girls will always talk about girls. That’s our nature, and we can sometimes be very vicious and heartless in the way we do it. Men can be even worse, however, with their locker-room mentality, when they high-five each other for having been with certain women, gaining and building camaraderie on the common ground of how they sexed you—describing how you performed and what your genitalia looked like.
When you’re the woman guys love bragging about having been with, you can never be comfortable about why men approach you. Is it because they want to know the real you, or because they want to see what everyone else has seen and be able to prove it to others, while adding a notch to their bedpost? Men are notorious for acting, upon first meeting you, as though they know nothing about you and are completely ignorant of your reputation, good or bad. Trust me, they know. Not only do they know, they want to see it for themselves. This is the collateral damage that casual sex begets. Having a reputation is a hard stain to remove. No matter how you try to leave it behind or rise above it, there’s always someone who remembers and wants to bring it up. In these times where everything is on the Internet, someone will Google it if it’s out there. Remember, girlfriends, you are responsible for your actions. They will follow you all your life. You can spare yourself from traveling down this road of humiliation by treating your body as precious cargo with respect and not giving away sex as if it’s meaningless.
You shouldn’t be afraid of abstaining from sex until you’ve found a man you feel certain will give you what you want and need, if those wants and needs come from a place of maturity. It’s okay to wait. There’s nothing wrong with a sexual fast. When you have sex, especially with multiple partners who have nothing more than a superficial connection to you, you take on all the energies of those people, both negative and positive. We as women are receptacles for that because of how we’re built and how we’re socialized to be the more outwardly emotional sex. By giving yourself a period of rest, you allow your body, soul, and mind a chance to cleanse, just as you would during a food fast. The you that will emerge will feel lighter and much more in control. Any wise man, or woman, will tell you: there’s nothing sexier than a woman who can have sex, but won’t.
I wouldn’t tell you this if I wasn’t sure it was highly effective, and I know it is because I’ve done it, having enjoyed celibacy for nine months at a time. It was the most cleansing, clarifying period of my twenties, at a stage when my toxic relationships with men were clouding my judgment and blocking my blessings. When I say blessings, I mean those beautiful, unexpected things that happen along the way. The moments and events that change your life for the better and open your eyes to all life has to offer.
Sometimes—and I think you can all feel me on this—certain types of men tend to get in the way. These types, with their charisma and machismo, their nonsense and their bullshit, tend to override what’s really important and impede us from taking care of ourselves and doing what’s right for us in the long run. During my nine-month dick desertion,