Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [110]
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Recap
Most of us have a type, a certain sort of person we find most attractive.
Our attractions are often triggered by positive feelings and early impressions.
When you take short-term gambles, the risk can be very, very high.
If something is telling you to not make that right turn and go out with that bad boy, don’t do it.
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Chapter Forty-seven
Prudishness
Somewhere along the way someone told you that men don’t marry loose women. This often repeated refrain came from women and men alike, usually elders, as a warning to you lest you get sexually out of hand. So you believed them, and all your life you’ve been the good girl, the one who has never (or says she has never) given a guy head in a bathroom stall or tried your hand at a ménage à trois. You don’t kiss on the first date and you most certainly won’t have sex until marriage—so you say. You play this little game for as long as you can. Besides, it actually works in your favor at times, because men love the thrill of the chase. True to what the elders said, you were able to snag a fiancé because you chose not to be loose. You got your ring—a perfect 2.7-carat number from Tiffany—and you’re so happy, thrilled beyond words. Your joy is so big, so uncontainable, you decide to break your own rule and let him put his hand, face, and throbbing manhood into the cookie jar, a reward to him for doing the right thing by taking steps to make you his bride.
Your good-girl attitude lives on, even in your secure relationship. You never stray from the basics: missionary, missionary, and more missionary, with fellatio saved for holidays and special occasions. That’s the span of your repertoire. Doggie-style might get thrown in, but you don’t care for it and don’t hesitate to make your dislike known. You truly believe that certain sexual acts and uninhibited behavior are for those other girls, the strumpets and strippers of the world. In your mind, no self-respecting wife would ever take a good pounding in the ass or swallow a load of jizz, even if it is your husband’s. (By the way, the dirty talk is just for you prudish girls reading along.) I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, ladies, but everyone has fantasies, both men and women alike. When it comes down to a man’s fantasies, very few of them include a woman who won’t go down on him in a movie theater!
Sure, there are cute little fantasies where you’re the prudish librarian with your hair pinned back, your shirt buttoned all the way to the collar, your glasses hanging off your nose, and a calf-length skirt rustling against your opaque panty hose. At first, you may come off as very shy, denying him your body, squirming and shrieking in resistance. At some point in this fantasy struggle, however, you have to give in, let your hair down, rip off that buttoned shirt, and fling off those glasses, discarding that librarian façade and giving your hunter what he’s been stalking you for. Why? Because no one wants to fuck a librarian, honey, not even in a fantasy.
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Vixen Tip
Gather your girlfriends for an impromptu “girl’s night in,” and without warning ask them what they think about anal sex or about putting a stripper pole in your bedroom. Hell, pull out your new sex toy and ask them if they’ve ever heard of the Masturbator 7000, then ask who’s had the most orgasms during one session with their mates or by themselves. Go ahead, break the ice, and you’ll see you’re not alone and that for most women, prudishness is an act because we’ve been taught to be ashamed of our bodies and sexuality, to never discuss those sorts of things. If we can’t talk about them, how are we to do them? Use your girlfriends as sounding boards and allow them to help you with their experiences, and vice versa. Even though prudes—I mean, birds of a feather—tend to flock together, you’re bound to have one or two friends who are the adventurous type. Think of yourself as Charlotte from Sex and the City asking a Samantha-esque buddy for advice. What she suggests might alarm you at first, but we can all stand to