Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [29]
I clearly remember when I decided I would make my lifelong dream of being a writer come true. I was kicking around the idea of writing my first book, Confessions of a Video Vixen, and mentioned this to my then-attorney. His response to my life-changing goal was, “No one will ever care about this.” Right then, I knew that someone would. Seeing his words as a gauntlet—a challenge—rather than a deterrent, I began to write feverishly. Soon after, Confessions was published and very quickly hit the New York Times bestseller’s list, followed by The Vixen Diaries just two short years later. My point? That attorney’s words meant nothing in the scheme of my life. They weren’t important because I chose to not let them be important. Imagine where I’d be now if I had taken his comment as gospel. Look at what happened when I made the choice to follow my own plan for myself and not someone else’s dismissive, limited vision of me. That attorney is probably still greasing up his lips, trying to pull his foot out of his mouth.
Let the adversity and resistance you encounter from others have an energizing effect instead of a depleting one. If necessary, use their negativity as the incentive to prove them wrong, but don’t let that be your guiding force. Personal fulfillment should be the beacon that motivates you. Approval from others is usually the last thing you will get when your goals are still in the dream phase. Don’t look for or wait around for approval. If I had, God knows, I would have never become the best-selling author I’d always dreamt of being, and you wouldn’t be reading this book.
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Vixen Say What?
If you aren’t working every day toward the betterment of your life, you may as well be dead, and who the hell wants to be dead, right?
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It’s encouraging to have dreams of college, careers, and personal and financial success, even though those things may seem impossible to touch from where you are in your life right now. Everything is possible and there is a path around every obstacle. Before I had a computer and access to the Internet, I would spend hours at either the public library or at my local bookstore. I wanted to know how to write and sell everything from treatments to screenplays to television shows and books. I bought or checked out books on these subjects and started writing—on paper, with a pencil, since I couldn’t afford a computer. That was how my career was born. Those were the first critical steps to the realization of my dreams. Even if your financial resources are limited, there’s a way to access the information and inspiration you need to be whom and what you desire.
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Vixen Tip
Spend a lot of time reading about the things and people that interest you. Emulate those who have been successful in the craft and field you wish to be a part of. Be inspired!
Utilize your local library and bookstores, especially the ones with cafés and couches in them! There is no reason to go hungry or be uncomfortable while getting your act together!
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I had goals, as we all do, of owning things. This desire was a strong motivator, making me determined to accomplish my long-term objectives. Like many people, I wanted a big house, a nice car, vacations, fancy clothes, and many other luxuries that I saw on television and in films.
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Vixen Tip
I would go through magazines, cut out pictures of what I wanted, and tape them to my wall, poster board, refrigerator, or bathroom mirror. We usually think of teenagers as the ones always taping things all over the house, but these weren’t photos of pop stars and pop-culture icons. These photos represented my future accomplishments and my incentive to move toward my long-term goals. There were photos of cars, homes, vacation destinations, and people I always admired. I have accomplished all of those goals and have now moved on to others. I still post pictures. It works, and I strongly recommend