Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [32]
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Vixen Say What?
The woman who stands for nothing will fall for anything and lie down for anyone.
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Vixen Tip
Just as I have done with the goals I have set for myself, I also keep a list of the principles I most believe in, which I also recommend you take the time to do. I do not believe that your principles should be exactly the same as your mate’s, but they should, at least, be similar or easily blended. The worst thing is to be in a relationship and be unaware of what your man stands for or who he wants to be, then one day realizing you are at polar opposites on some of life’s most critical issues. I believe that basic beliefs and principles should be discussed, along with personal and professional goals, soon after meeting a man with the potential to be a future mate. It’s an important step in the selection and elimination process.
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Principles are not something you are born with, but are taught and acquired as you experience life. Each of us must have principles and rules to live by, otherwise we will find ourselves mired in chaos. People will be able to take advantage of you because they’ll know that you have no sense of self.
When you have no sense of who you are, you can be easily persuaded to do the bidding of others. So many women, myself included, were born into families that were unclear on how to give their little girls decent principles to guide them through life. The more fortunate were born to parents who instilled into them a strong sense of self and personal potential by teaching them what to expect from themselves, as well as from the world around them. Everything I have ever learned was as a result of life experiences, heartaches, and letdowns. Once upon a time I viewed this as a curse, but now I realize that it has brought me the greatest gift—wisdom—one that I am eager to share with others.
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Vixen Tip
Your list of principles should include, but should not be limited to, the ways in which you wish to run your dating, home, and business life, as well as your physical, emotional, and spiritual one.
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I have sat down at my computer three times now to pen books I have known would be ill-received by some. And even though I may not have had the same principles instilled into me as some of the so-called gatekeepers of morality, I have always had my own set of principles and have stuck by them. Thankfully, over time they’ve changed to reflect growth and maturity in my life. Even when no one else believes in what I stand for and who I am, I cannot waiver—not if I believe a word I have written. In the face of ridicule and a good old-fashioned biblical stoning, I stick to my principles, knowing some of them differ vastly from those of others, and at day’s end I am always vindicated by what I believe. Don’t be afraid to stand firm on your truths and values. You are the author of your destiny and what is true for you may never work for someone else, but it’s your compass. Use it to navigate. Never abandon your code of ethics. You will always be rewarded for sticking to your guns.
Nowadays, when given lemons, instead of bemoaning the situation, I opt to make lemonade, a dazzling lemon chicken, and one hell of a lemon meringue pie. And while there are many rules we can have for our lives and relationships, there are a few that should be universal. Never allow anyone to degrade you. That includes both physically