Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [47]
Nevertheless, none of this means that you should be an emotionless woman. No man wants an android—not a real man, anyway. You were designed with emotions for a reason. Use them to your advantage, ladies, instead of allowing them to dominate you. An emotionally secure woman could never be empty and uncaring, anyway. This is about being in control of those thoughts and feelings that have the potential to take you to a dark place. You possess the ability to redirect those emotions to a place of productivity. It takes practice, but believe me, the respect you’ll gain will be its own reward.
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Recap
You are the master and commander of your own emotional destiny.
You have to train your mind to let go of those runaway emotions and focus on the positive and the practical.
Misery loves company.
Know that there is always a bigger, brighter outcome waiting for you.
Never bring past issues into your current relationship that you believe to be resolved.
We need to remember to fight with love, acceptance, and intelligence.
An emotionally secure woman could never be empty and uncaring.
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Chapter Nineteen
Asset
Every woman needs to assess whether or not she is an asset or a liability to her lover and family. First, we need to be clear about what an asset is. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines it as an “advantage,” a “resource.” Is that what you consider yourself? If not, then you make sure that’s what you are before you attempt to pursue a romantic relationship. And you shouldn’t just be doing this to get a man. It is crucial that you become an asset to yourself.
A woman who is an asset, by definition, provides herself and her man with significant advantage. She is a resource. She contributes more than she takes away, and in return is contributed to by others who are eager to meet the needs of someone so dynamic. Her man can’t imagine his life without her and does everything in his power to ensure that she is happy. She is the opposite of a woman who is a liability (which we will discuss in detail in the following chapter). This kind of woman depletes. She can suck the life out of the person she is with, offering nothing substantial toward the growth and betterment of the relationship and of the future. This includes financial, educational, and emotional growth.
If you are, or will be, someone who’s considered an asset, you must be a woman of goals and of principles, knowing what you want and what you stand for. You should take every step possible and each available opportunity to meet the goals that you have set for yourself, no matter how big or small. It’s important to have a life plan, and although you should be mindful of compromise in your relationships, you should never compromise your goals and principles for the sake of someone else’s comfort. You shouldn’t give up on your career in order to bear children, especially if that wasn’t your dream, or cancel your education in order to emotionally support your man and his career goals, if you have career goals of your own.
People in relationships make compromises all the time, especially if both are just starting out together in the world, trying to establish a solid foundation upon which to establish a family. One partner may agree to defer his or her objectives in order to assist the other in attaining position and, ultimately, financial security for the relationship. Once that is accomplished, the other partner can then be supported in pursuing his or her career goals. This is a very common occurrence in relationships and there’s nothing wrong with this kind of arrangement. Just make sure your dreams aren’t constantly being deferred and relegated to secondary importance, or you may wake up one day to find that your man is very accomplished, and you