Vixen Manual - Karrine Steffans [6]
Numbers three though five are mostly for emotional support, chitchatting and the like. These men are not of any romantic interest to you, per se, but are great to talk to or just hang out with. I prefer to keep these people at bay. Feed them with the proverbial long-handled spoon. Give them rules and limitations: no calling after nine, limited or no personal contact—that sort of thing.
To remind these fellows that they’re in a competition, let each one know about the other and reveal to them their ranking and that their current ranking is always subject to change. When each one calls, address them by number instead of their names once in a while, just for sport. This ups the ante. Number one will be flattered. The rest will wonder why they’re not him. They will ask what number one has or does that they don’t. Most important, they’ll want to know what he gets that they don’t. Let them know. Don’t be shy. Then sit back and watch the games begin.
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Vixen Say What?
A man who hasn’t worked for you will only play with you.
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Now, for me, this method is tried and true. After years of putting my heart and soul and life on hold for nearly every man I’d been involved with, I was exhausted! It’s funny how one man can leave you spent, but when you have many, your energy can be reserved. Hmmm. How is this so? I suddenly found myself more in control because I gave the men in my life their positions of relevance. When I was dissatisfied with one, I would quickly demote him and place another, more deserving suitor in his slot. I was in dating heaven! Just as I explained above, it was so empowering to finally be in control of my emotions and the way I related to the men in my life. My courting ritual was my own and not dependent upon the fleeting fancies of any man.
But wait! Before you go rounding up your Starting Five, be sure you’re ready to play this new dating game. There is so much for you to know and practice before you go cavorting with different types of men. Heaven knows what you’re going to encounter out there among these gladiators and hunters. You, your self-worth, your self-esteem, and your overall self-image need to be fortified. The vicious flip side of this dating strategy is that you can easily become a pawn in the game and be played, moved all over the board, and jumped by any random rook. Learn yourself first. Be assured of your power, as well as your freedom, and become proficient in utilizing them both effortlessly. Doing so will take time and loads of practice. In the chapters to come, we’ll talk about how to accomplish these things in more and in greater detail, so for now, hold tight. Trust me, the men aren’t going anywhere.
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Recap
Dating one man at a time cannot only be a setup for severe disappointment but a waste of precious child-bearing years, quarter- and midlife crisis time, even your retirement.
Do not let the fear of being labeled keep you from making the best decisions for yourself.
Having a full and varied dance card indicated a woman’s desirability in years past.
Create competition among your suitors.
By having options, you allow yourself the freedom to change your mind.
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Chapter Three
Falling in Love, Part Two
So you’ve mastered the new dating game and you’re being courted left and right. Great! But hold on, Vixen, you say. Not so fast. I’ve hit a snafu. Both your number one and your number two have stolen your heart and you don’t know whom to choose. You can’t. You won’t, damn it! Each of these choice men brings something so unique to your life and you love them both so differently but so completely that you couldn’t bear to let one of them go. We all know that this will not end well. At least two hearts stand to be broken in this scenario: yours and one of theirs. (If things go really badly, all three of you lose.)
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Vixen Say What?